NASA scientists have discarded all previous theories as to how a mysterious ‘jelly donut’ rock appeared beside the Mars Rover Opportunity and now say it must have been dropped there by aliens.
“We have ruled out every other explanation”, said Cornell University astronomer Steven Squyres, the principal investigator of Mars Exploration Rover Mission. “The only remaining explanation is that someone dropped it there”.
NASA scientists have been searching for signs of past microbial life on the Red Planet but think they have found something far more intriguing. Intelligent life!
“We have known for some time that something was cleaning off the solar panels which has extended the life of the rover from a planned 90 day mission to over 10 years”, Squires continued. “We attributed it to dust storms but, in reality, aliens have been coming by with dust cloths”.
NASA had been hiding this recent revelation from public in fear that they cannot handle the truth.
“There is nothing to be afraid of!” said NASA administrator Charles Bolden. “These are peaceful creatures and they have offered us a jelly donut. In Earth terms that’s like extending an olive branch!”
Hey, that’s my watch!
China put a lander on the moon, which is vastly easier than putting a rover on Mars. It's closer, landing is easier, there's no weather to get in the way. But China's lander died after less than two months on the surface. Opportunity is still roaming Mars after TEN YEARS… so we got that going for us, which is nice.
Yo, that’s no donut! Lemmo explain alien physiology to you, specifically the digestive and elimination systems.
I heard they found a shopping trolley. With a wonky wheel.
I am anxious to find out the truth! Next thing the rover will be finding Little Debbie snack wrappers!
As a fan of the space program, as well as being a fan of Jelly doughnuts, I find this story offensive… and delicious. I'm conflicted.