Just as the media started to descend on Secretary of State John Kerry for vacationing aboard his yacht while Egypt crumbled, his wife had some sort of mysterious seizure taking the spotlight off him.
“My wife is so wonderful she even pretended to be sick”, a teary eyed Kerry said to an unnamed source. “She took some drugs that cause seizures when combined with alcohol and it’s very difficult to find this drug in her system with standard tests!”
Kerry was just starting to be attacked by the news media for taking a Nantucket vacation as Egyptian President Mohammed Morsi was violently overthrown from office. The tactic of having his wife become ill has been described as “brilliant” by political analysts.
“Rather than appearing not to care for his job, he now seems like the devoted and caring husband!” said analyst Joe Shempke. “Perhaps he had the ‘sick wife’ thing in his back pocket for just such an occasion!”
74 year old Teresa Heinz Kerry’s condition has been upgraded to good after arriving at the hospital in critical condition.