ATLANTA, Ga. (GlossyNews) — When a new product comes to market, it doesn’t take long for the younger crowd to scope it out and try to scoop it up, especially when that new product contains alcohol. Such is the case with a new brand of whipped cream dubbed Whipped Lightening, which contains a whopping 36.5 proof grain alcohol.
Sixteen-year-old Johnny Willingcox heard about the alcohol-laden whipped cream from one of his mother’s friends. Willingcox was standing at the checkout counter at the local Humpty Dumpty when store security approached and threatened to arrest him for trying to purchase alcohol as a minor. “You can’t blame a kid for trying,” said Willingcox as he continued to purchase the other items in his cart: a pack of condoms, some Zig-Zag rolling papers, and a 2-liter bottle of Mountain Dew.
Asked later, Willcox had this to say, “What a great invention! Jack Daniels and whipped cream! Too bad it’s for adults only. Adults freakin’ only. What a bummer. This puts quite a damper on my evening.”
Whipped Lightening, made from grain alcohol and heavy whipping cream, comes in a variety of flavors including coconut, orange, macadamia and amaretto. Use it on cakes, pies and various body parts for adult parties your friends will not soon forget. In fact, that is how Willingcox found out about it in the first place. As his mom was hostessing one of the wildest home lingerie parties around, her best friend, Ms. Robinson, got a little tipsy and went roaming the house looking for a bathroom to change out of the skimpy underwear she’d been asked to model that evening.
As it turns out, Johnny was treated to a private showing that soon escalated to the realization of every adolescent boy’s fantasy. “One thing led to another, and Ms. Robinson told me to ‘go get us more of that great Whipped Lightening, will ya, Johnny?’ And that’s how I ended up at the Humpty Dumpty at one in the morning,” claimed an apologetic, yet seemingly wiser, Willingcox.