Tag Archive | "Vice President"

Another Political First – The First VP Candidate named TIM

Tim - Tim KaineHello. Tim Jones here. This presidential election year is historic in several ways. It is the first time in US history that:

• a woman has been nominated by a major political party as their presidential candidate
• a major political party has selected a narcissistic, bullying, sociopath as their standard bearer Read the full story


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Frustrated Voter Questions Paul Ryan’s Birth

Frustrated voter Dixon Notch of Plainville, Ohio has raised a complaint about Vice Presidential candidate Paul Ryan.

“I’ve got a problem with Mitt Romney’s pick of Paul Ryan,” said Notch. “It’s not Ryan’s right-wing conservative views on things like abortion and gay marriage that bother me or even his far right budget proposal comprising tax cuts for the rich and benefit cuts for everyone else. Heck, I can even accept that he’s a stupidly big fan of Ayn Rand.” Read the full story


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Paul Ryan: ‘Must Not Look Weak, Must Not Look Weak’

KENTUCKY – Following his televised debate with Vice President Joe Biden Thursday, Mitt Romney’s running mate Paul Ryan insisted: “must not look weak, must not look weak, must not look weak.”

Adopting a serious tone during post-debate festivities, the 42-year-old said it was absolutely vital that he refrain from breaking down in uncontrollable tears after what, after all, was a healthy debate with Mr. Biden. Read the full story


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Democratic National Convention to Premiere Joe Biden Reality TV Show

Charlotte, North Carolina – A week before the Democratic National Convention is scheduled to start, leaked sources indicated that the convention will feature a premiere of Joe Biden’s new reality TV show, Joe the Vice President.

It aims to be the “most epic” reality show, says Biden.

The show’s format will be Joe Biden traveling the country, performing random jobs and duties normally done by ordinary citizens. After the leak, Biden has been giving multiple interviews at press junkets and conferences. Read the full story


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In 4yrs, Biden Successfully Increased GDP (Gaffe Domestic Product) by 80%

The White House released its figures for economic and social growth over the last four years and are very excited about sharing one particular statistic that stood out above the rest.

Apparently, during his first term as Vice President, Joe Biden single-handedly increased the social equivalent of the GDP (Gaffe Domestic Product) by over eighty percent (narrowly nudging Quayle from the top spot).

Read Also:
Stupid things said by Mitt Romney
Stupid things said by Barack Obama

We have compiled an abbreviated version for you; a more complete list can be found at various sites like politicalhumor.about.com. Read the full story


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Biden to be Replaced on Democratic Ticket by Complete Unknown

Washington, D.C. – A top Obama aide called Bob van der Valk today to ask him to consider replacing Vice President Joe Biden, claims the author of the New York Times bestseller “The Amateur.”

Efforts to reach the potential new Vice Presidential nominee were met with “No comment”, when he answered the phone at his home in Terry, Montana.

The suggestion to pick Bob van der Valk, who lacks having any experience on every level of holding this important national office, was made by the President’s advisors.

RIGHT: Van der Valk and Obama, together and delighted. (click to enlarge photo) Read the full story


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Mitt Ryan Picks Paul Romney for VP; and a Political Bromance Blossoms

In one of the most romantic scenes since Gosling kissed McAdams in the rain, former governor Mitt Romney of Massachusetts offered Congressman Paul Ryan of Wisconsin his hand in political matrimony.

Not only did Governor Romney offer Ryan a place at his side, he solidified his commitment by offering his name too. Congressman Ryan was so overwhelmed by the gesture, that he immediately did the same. Read the full story


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11 Reasons Sarah Palin Was A Better VP Pick Than Dick Cheney

Ex Minister of Vice Dick Cheney has come out (no, not out of the closet. Don’t we wish!) and said that Sarah Palin was a poor choice for Vice President. Well son of a gun! It’s the pot calling the kettle black!

Let’s take a look at why Palin WOULD have been a better vice President than Cheney ever was:

Read the full story


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GOP Eyes Watson the Computer as Front-Runner Candidate for 2012 Election

Last month, the nation was introduced to the world’s smartest computer: the IBM Watson. Watson is an example of the incredible strides made in artificial intelligence (A.I.). With four terabytes of storage capacity, including all of Wikipedia. Watson knows the answer to virtually any question, from Lady Macbeth to Lady Gaga. Read the full story


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Obama’s New Running Mate – Anti-Biden Shocker

It came out today that President Obama will replace Joe Biden as his running mate for the 2012 presidential election. Beyonce will be filling in for the stodgy old senator. Her star power will surely add the glitz and glamor that Obama’s campaign desperately needs.

When asked about this drastic change to his strategy Obama said “With Beyonce as my new running mate girls are one step closer to running the world.” Read the full story


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Ex-VP Dick Cheney Injured in Serious Hunting Accident

TYLER, Wyoming – (Glossy News) -Ex-Vice President Dick Cheney is an avid hunter and has filled his time during retirement by duck hunting near his Casper, Wyoming ranch.

 According to friends, Cheney recently was out on the marsh for a weekend of hunting.  As circumstance would have it, he decided to relieve himself against a tree…that’s when trouble began to brew. Read the full story


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Joe Biden Sits on White House Toilet With Door Open and Whistles

WASHINGTON, D.C. (GlossyNews) — “Clueless Joe,” as they are calling him these days, seems to be losing touch with reality bit by bit each day, as he wanders through the White House talking to no one in particular and asking the maid if she needs any help. Seems Mr. Biden is finding it hard to keep himself busy as vice-president.

And the latest word from the staff is that Joe has no idea how unnerving it is for people to go past the first floor bathroom near the kitchen and see him sitting on the throne, reading the latest press releases and whistling a tune. Read the full story


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