Tag Archive | "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles"

Bread Bath & Beyond Unearths Ancient Toy in Corporate Warehouse


Union, New Jersey – Chief Inventory Specialist, Brandon Pitabeard of Bread Bath & Beyond’s corporate headquarters made an astonishing discovery Monday morning when he found a toy dating back to the era when Olive Garden’s roamed the earth, more than 226 days ago.

Pitabeard found the antiquated toy, while extracting the store’s seasonal supply of Kim Kardashian Khristmas trees from the corporate warehouse, featuring an extra large base and a picture of her and ex-husband Kris Humphries on the top. Read the full story

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Breadsticks Power Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Remake


New York City, New York – Heroes in a half shell, breadstick power! This is the updated catchphrase in the newest remake of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, scheduled to be released in the United States on August 8th.

The film will be the first released using 3B technology, which is very similar to 3D visual effects, except that it allows all breadsticks in the film to appear that they are being shared with the audience.

“This bread-breaking technology allows us to further promote breadstick awareness and will have audiences feeling like they are reaching into the basket every time one appears onscreen,” said the film’s Director, Jonathan Liebesman.

“There are already rumors abound of various theatres across the country changing their menus to include breadsticks as one of the film’s goals is to get audiences licking their lips, yearning for those soft, garlicky items.” Liebesman added, while adjusting the arm of a Donatello figurine to dip a breadstick in marinara sauce.

In this franchise reboot, New York City has been taken over by Shredder and his evil army with a diabolical plan to shred every last breadstick within city limits before moving to the world’s supply.

Everything is going according to plan, until four breadstick-craving brothers emerge from the toxic sewers beneath the city and discover their destiny as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles with one mission, to keep baskets filled and Shredder at bay.

With the help of a fearless reporter (April O’Neil) played by Megan Fox and the song “I Can’t Go For That (No Can Do)” by Hall and Oates that gives the turtles special powers, their mission is full-stick ahead. However, the turtle clan soon realizes that Shredder has more than one bread knife in his kitchen.

Not knowing if they will lose the food they love or get tossed into a turtle soup or salad, they must do everything possible to clog Shredder’s blowhole with dough and breadify his evil army.

The film is expected to revitalize the franchise and includes other celebrity appearances from Johnny Knoxville, Will Arnett and Whoopi Goldberg.

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