Posted on 16 September 2010. Tags: avian flu, bird flu, CDC, elephants, flu, republican, swine flu
ATLANTA, Georgia – (Glossy News) – The Centers for Disease Control in Atlanta (CDC) have come out with warnings this week of a new strain of flu that is already showing signs of being a real problem this coming fall flu season. The reports claim the flu is related to elephants. Unlike the swine flu and avian flu viruses, which can affect anyone regardless of their socio-economic status, the pachyderm flu will be particularly bothersome in the upper echelons of society. Read the full story
Posted in Health
Posted on 23 November 2009. Tags: Goldman Sachs, h1n1, pandemic bailout, santa claus, scum bag Wall Street executives, swine flu, swine flu virus, vaccination
New York, NY – In a jolly but firm tone, the Association of Mall Santas (AMS) has issued a formal demand to Wall Street giant Goldman Sachs to hand over all their doses of the swine flu vaccine to the thousands of Mall Santas across the country who are going into this holiday season woefully unprepared to face one of the deadliest flu viruses to hit the world in recent memory. “If Virginia were alive today,” said one jolly old elf, “she’d be at high risk of catching a deadly disease from her most beloved adult figure. Yes, Virginia, there is a swine flu-carrying Santa Claus after all.” Read the full story
Posted in Health, Kidz Zone
Posted on 18 September 2009. Tags: call center, h1n1, influenza, pandemic, scaremongering, secret report, swine flu
The UK’s legion of Oinkyitis H1N1 pig flu emergency call centres are to close just weeks after opening because staff have been spending most of their time playing cards and board games and generally sitting around scratching their arses – and getting paid for doing sweet FA. Read the full story
Posted in Biz News, Health
Posted on 21 August 2009. Tags: banned, h1n1, influenza, israel, kosher, pig flu, swine, swine flu
Jerusalem – Israeli Health officials have announced today that the swine flu vaccine will not be made available to the general public as punishment for the more than 1,700 people who went against Hebrew law by contracting swine flu. Read the full story
Posted in Health
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