Tag Archive | "Stephen Hawking"

God: “Stephen Hawking does not exist”


DATELINE: HEAVEN – In response to Dr. Stephen Hawking’s confirmation of his atheism this week, the Christian deity and almighty creator Yahweh announced that the universe’s existence could be explained without the need for a Stephen Hawking.

“Following peer-reviewed religious principles and dogma, it is clear to me that the possibility of a Stephen Hawking existing is much less than remotely plausible. Religion offers a much more convincing explanation for the origins of the universe and, quite frankly, the existence of a Stephen Hawking simply is not compatible with My miracles.” Read the full story

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Hawking Enlists David Copperfield to Demonstrate “Spontaneous Creation”


Hawking: Spontaneous Creation is the Reason Something is Here Rather than Nothing.

World-renowned physicist Stephen Hawking, best known for his accessible books on the fundamental questions we all face, recently published his latest findings on a cosmological concept he calls “spontaneous creation”.

According to Hawking and many of his peers, this new evidence would not only substantiate the controversial claim, but signify a new chapter in both the annals of modern science and the way we view the world. Read the full story

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Science on God: Inference to Any Other Explanation the Best


Men like Stephen Hawking have helped introduce us to Science all over again and men like Richard Dawkins have helped us learn to appreciate its grandness and wonder anew.

They’ve taught us to embrace skepticism in our pursuit of truth and question everything (except Evolution, of course) on this road of scientific inquiry. And whenever the clear path of evidence and logic is obstructed, imagination (as long as it’s not religious) will do. Read the full story

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IQ of iPhone 4 Buyers Related to Place in Line at iPhone Sale


Tawdry Soup has found the IQ level of iPhone 4 purchasers is directly related to the place in line each person had when the portable phones went on sale, and the figures are surprising.

In the survey, administered as Tawdry Soup walked down the line that snaked around the block from the local Apple electronics store, a field IQ test asked some basic questions such as, “Does Christmas and New Year’s Day ever fall in the same year and Who is the President of the United States?” Read the full story

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Stephen Hawking’s Basement Raided, Rare Historic Artifacts Found


Cambridge, England – Acting on an anonymous tip, British police raided well-known physicist, Stephen Hawking’s basement, where it is reported that they found some incredible historical artifacts from various periods in history. Included with the artifacts was an urn which held the salty remains of Lot’s wife from Biblical times.

“It was unbelievable,” said one constable. “I mean, Lot’s wife, blimey, that’s almost the most amazing thing I think I’ve ever seen.” Read the full story

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