Posted on 04 June 2015.
A long lost Kirk/Spock vintage Star Trek episode that never aired has turned up in a forgotten vault at Paramount Studios.
“The Deflowering” was a 1967 show featuring all the beloved and famous characters who made the show such an unforgettable sci-fi icon. Unfortunately its subject matter made it a no-show on that eras airwaves.
It was about sex. Too much sex. Read the full story
Posted in Television
Posted on 17 November 2014.
A leak in the security of the new Star Trek series has provided Glossy with a peek at the highly anticipated show.
As you can see the players will be wearing an all new design of Star Fleet uniforms and, as usual, represent many different races and nationalities.
Again there will be a black Vulcan just like Tuvok in the Voyager series, only this time he will be in the Commander position. Unlike his predecessor this new Vulcan will occasionally exhibit moments of humor, a very un-Vulcan like quality.
His name is Barack Hussein Obama, an unlikely a name as any writer could ever conjure up, but we’ll go with it for the time being. There is a Chinese second in command, Xi Jinping (they must have been really imaginative to come up with this moniker), who will be a constant source of disagreement and contention in the series.
Unknown to the other crew members, a Romulan agent has infiltrated the group with the intent on sabotaging all relationships and vessel machinery that he can. Named Vladimir Putin (the writers got a little lax on this name. It is inappropriate as it sounds too much like the Romanian Prince Vlad who was the basis for Dracula….on second thought the name fits. Forget it.), he is the wild card in the deck of the ship’s crew.
Other nationalities and races will play key characters who will mostly get in the way of the other three stars or die horribly while wearing red uniforms (in the original Star Trek series any actor wearing a red shirt always got creamed half way through the episode).
Whereas most Star Trek episodes involved conflicts with aliens outside the ship, this series will have most of its battles waged inside the vessel between its own crew members. Mr. Putin and Jinping will prove to be behind most of the intrigue. Mr. Putin and Mr. Jinping, being from more backwards lands, are jealous of the Captain’s superior technology and feels that they must interrupt their progress in any way possible to overcome it.
On their first mission in an entirely new ship aptly called the “New World Order”. the crew encounters foreign aliens trying to escape their home planet to work on the earth. Captain Obama wants to welcome them in, not realizing that helmsman Putin has already sent out small fighters to buzz and harass them. Mr. Jinping just stands back and waits for both to make mistakes so he can take over.
Future episodes will be guaranteed to have lots of weird looking aliens and not-so-weird looking gorgeous shapely women wearing way-too-short mini-skirt uniforms.
Posted in Entertainment, Politics
Posted on 28 March 2013.
Without realizing it, for the past month or so, the world was interested in the NBA’s regular season games. And all of the credit goes to one team: The Miami Heat.
In case you just came out of a coma, live in Antarctica, lost your short-term memory, or just came out of a coma, basketball’s reigning champions recently made history by winning 27 games in succession. Read the full story
Posted in Sports
Posted on 21 September 2012.
Gene Roddenberry’s family have released early audition tapes, which show an x-factor style auditioning process to filter out alien species for his hit show Star Trek.
The tapes show various species of aliens auditioning for roles on Star Trek and being critiqued on stage in front of an audience.
The shows creator is said to have favoured this approach because he was able to gauge their over all likeability better then screen tests. Read the full story
Posted in Entertainment
Posted on 21 August 2012.
Experts agree, spring and summer are synonymous with yard sales. All over America, moms are clearing out their overstuffed closets, getting rid of old, worthless, outdated junk that no longer serves any useful purpose. And they’re not just talking about their husbands lying on the couch drinking beer and watching the Poker Channel.
They are also talking about that lime green Nehru jacket Ned Terwiller bought in 1972, which never was in style to begin with. Or that model train set that Herb Hobart’s kids last played with during the Reagan administration. Read the full story
Posted in Music
Posted on 20 August 2012.
After multiple deaths, Target has decided to make a change in the uniforms of it’s employees. This decision was made once the connection of the uniforms was made to Star Trek.
It is well known that any crew wearing a red shirt on Star Trek was considered expendable. No one knew that this would affect employees at Target.
But the string of deaths due to alien monsters and space plagues could not be ignored. The owner of Target admits that the uniform coloring was a poor choice, and they are now replacing it with a safe blue color.
Posted in Crime, News In Your Briefs
Posted on 26 April 2012.
Considered the retail clothier’s equivalent of a Bilderberg conference, the Miami Youth Casual Apparel show has long drawn attention without producing fashion headlines. A party atmosphere combines with paparazzi, cutting edge designers and models that appear to have never seen a cheeseburger. Everyone says it’s fun to be at the MYCA. But beyond gossip columns, little real news is generated. Read the full story
Posted in Society
Posted on 03 October 2010.
BAYNARD’S BOTTOM, Tennessee (GlossyNews) — A retired Methodist Minister claims that the Bible which supposedly depicts the history of our planet since the time God created it and everything in it was really written about another planet.
He claims that astronomers have recently discovered a planet that is almost identical to Earth, but that planet lies over a trillion light years away and is therefore making it difficult to prove his theory. Even more puzzling is how their history got to this planet, leading to one of the largest celestial mix-ups of our time. Read the full story
Posted in Religionism, Strange People