In the November 2nd, 2015 4K/UHD podcasts, I get over my Halloween stomach ache and get back to business covering a mad slew of topics.
All of this is available in UHD on YouTube by searching “Glossy Podcast” or as an MP3 on iTunes by searching “Glossy News”.
* An in-depth explanation of why you should never bring a wing man to your doctor’s appointment. Especially not back into the exam room.
* A review of “What We Do in the Shadows” starring Jemaine Clement of Flight of the Conchords. It’s a vampire flick as wild and wonderful as “Shaun of the Dead” was for zombie movies. Watch the clip!
* Legal advice desperately needed for a young gentleman who may have been caught in a room with a lady of the night… who may or may have been sub-legal in more ways than one.
* Amazing true facts Part-Two. The second in what will likely be a seven or eight part series of facts so crazy they must be fake, and at least two or three of them are.
* There is a church that advocates for the legalization of lady business in ways to ease tensions and save marriages. Best part is that the church will use a legal loophole to make it happen even if the law doesn’t come around.
* The longest, wildest “Little Jimmy” joke in the history of history. In my “true” story though, his name is actually Dillon, because, you know, why not?
* Learn how to beat the house in Vegas every single time. This is not a joke or a gimmick, and it really does work.
* A quick story about meeting Santa Claus when he was on his vacation. Nice enough guy. Not as jolly as I expected.
Listen to it
Or you can download it by right-clicking and selecting “save as” right here. It’s also available on iTunes.
Segment bumpers by Greg the Hero. Royalty Free Music “Upbeat Forever,” “Perspectives,” “Spy Glass,” “Rumination,” “Crowd Hammer,” “Fiddles McGinty,” “Master of the Feast,” “This House,” “Summer Day,” “Your Call,” “Cool Intro,” “Funkorama” and “Music for a Funeral – 11” by Kevin MacLeod — Incompetech.com.
Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, unfortunately, he can’t pay his mounting debt and therefore won’t be visiting your home with lots of toys and goodies.
Due to the economic downturn felt all over the globe, Santa Claus International has been forced to file for Chapter 11 bankruptcy. A press release issued at the last minute Friday had the jolly old elf himself near tears as he announced that his beloved toy operation would no longer exist, and he would be staying put in the North Pole this year instead of delivering toys to children and adults around the world. Read the full story
A new study published today in The Journal of Humanoid Genetics reveals high levels of inbreeding among Santa’s famous toy making elves.
Analysis of DNA microsatellites obtained from blood samples taken from several hundred randomly chosen North Pole elves resulted in an estimated coefficient of relationship of approximately 14%. First cousins, for comparison, have a coefficient of relationship of 12.5%. Read the full story
NORTH POLE – Christmas – the holiday widely regarded as the most wonderful time of the year – today claimed victory in the War on Christmas, after enemy combatants and political correctness brigades surrendered in the early hours of the morning.
Its victory brings to a close 11 years of violent combat, which has seen bureaucrats carry out persistent strategic attacks on the special day in a war that is reported to have bored over two million people since fighting began on December 6, 2000. Read the full story
New York, NY – In a jolly but firm tone, the Association of Mall Santas (AMS) has issued a formal demand to Wall Street giant Goldman Sachs to hand over all their doses of the swine flu vaccine to the thousands of Mall Santas across the country who are going into this holiday season woefully unprepared to face one of the deadliest flu viruses to hit the world in recent memory. “If Virginia were alive today,” said one jolly old elf, “she’d be at high risk of catching a deadly disease from her most beloved adult figure. Yes, Virginia, there is a swine flu-carrying Santa Claus after all.” Read the full story