Tag Archive | "Rick Scott"

FL Governor Scott Concerned Gaping Holes Will Impact Tourism

Republican Gov. Rick Scott expressed concern today that tourist will start avoiding his state to avoid being sucked into a gaping hole. Because he failed to be explicit about which gaping hole he was concerned with, it is unsure if it is the sink holes popping up or the one in which he consistently stores his foot.


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Florida Governor Rick Scott Battling Leukemia

Following months of speculation, the governor’s office has this morning confirmed what red-blooded, God-fearing Americans have long suspected. He’s a sick and dying man.

“I’ve always fought hard against the ills that plague us, but I’m more comfortable when it’s welfare queens and not [leukemia],” said Scott in front of the governor’s mansion.

“But I vow to beat this just like I would a Cuban immigrant here to take your job.” Read the full story


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Florida Voting Hampered for/by Blacks, Tape

GlossyNews.com – What started off as a smooth election day in Florida turned ugly in the second hour of voting. Machine failures were reported across all counties and voters were forced to wait for hours in the hot sun for the issue to be resolved.

The problem can be traced directly back to future felon and Governor Rick Scott. In his apparent reluctance to use any source of energy that doesn’t require the consumption of limited fossil fuels, he issued an executive order earlier this month requiring that black electrical tape be placed over the solar panels on all machines. Read the full story


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Florida Gov. Rick Scott Steps Down Citing Medical Reasons

TALLAHASSEE — Florida Gov. Rick Scott stepped down today as leader of the Sunshine State after confidential reports surfaced, which we will not share. These private, personal, legally protected documents, which are confidential, prove the governor withheld a 2008 diagnosis of adult Asperger Disorder from voters.

Lt. Governor Jennifer Carroll was immediately sworn into office as Florida’s 46th governor. Read the full story


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