Tag Archive | "rich"

Billionaire Fantasizes About Teleporting, Reading Minds


REDWOOD CITY, CA — While waiting for board members of his multinational corporation to convene, Oracle founder Larry Ellison reportedly daydreamed about possessing superpowers.

“Can you imagine how amazing it would be to teleport anywhere with a single thought?” mused Ellison, who is worth over $50.5 billion and owns two private jets.

“The first thing I’d do is see how far I could teleport and how often. Once I figured out the basics, that’s when the real fun would start. I’d definitely find a way to teleport right behind Billy [Bill Gates] when he’s on his private yacht, just to see the look on his face. Read the full story

Share

Posted in Celebrity GossipComments (1)

Judge Rejects 17-Year-Old Drunk Driver Affluenza Defense


A Texas judge threw out the Affluenza defense of a 16-year-old drunk driver today claiming the boy’s family did not make enough money to qualify for that defense.

“I am sentencing this boy to three years in prison,” said Texas State District Judge Jean Boyd.

“His parents only make $65,000 per year between them. In order to qualify for the affluenza defense parents must make over $300,000 and have a cumulative net worth exceeding $3 million including property.”

The boy’s lawyer, public defender Josh Sherman, claims that despite his family’s low income, the boy has always been pampered and allowed to do whatever he wants. Read the full story

Share

Posted in CrimeComments (8)

Billionaire Tom Perkins says “Poor Shouldn’t Be Allowed To Vote”


In a stunning turnaround, billionaire and silicon valley legend Tom Perkins who earlier this month compared the plight of the rich to nazi holocaust victims, stated that the poor should not be allowed to vote at all.

“They’re dirty, they’re ugly, they’re stupid and they don’t have their own jets…why should they be allowed to vote?” said Perkins. Read the full story

Share

Posted in Human Interest, Strange PeopleComments (0)

How the Rich Stole Christmas


Now the middle of classes were middler than most
They had oodles of things on which they could boast.
They had cars, and houses, and TVs and more
They were boasting and boasting of goodies galore.

Til one day the bottom all dropped out from under
The middle of classes was torn quite asunder.
The greed of the 1% people with money
Decided to steal all the milk and the honey. Read the full story

Share

Posted in Top StoriesComments (8)

90 Percent of Nation’s Richest 10 Percent Support “We Are The 99 Percent” Economic Protest


NEW YORK – Some of the nation’s wealthiest citizens are expressing their support for the “We Are The 99 Percent” campaign, which has arisen from the economic protests taking place in New York’s Zuccotti Park and in other cities across the country. Read the full story

Share

Posted in Biz News, PoliticsComments (0)

Poor Can No Longer Protect Rich From Harsh Realities Of Life


Tragedy has hit the upper levels of our society today as the economic crisis has caused many of the rich to lose their cushion of poor people that have previously protected them from having to experience the basics of life. Many of the rich now have to polish their own silverware, trim their own gardens, do their own sewing due to their staff having starved to death or not having the money or transportation to even get to work. Read the full story

Share

Posted in Human InterestComments (0)

Don’t Blame the Rich, It’s a Generational Thing


Just as the rich say that breaking the cycle of poverty is a never-ending battle because it is self-perpetuating, some are now using that same logic to try and explain the unmitigated greed that is threatening to tear apart entire states such as Wisconsin and Michigan.

The rich, or as they like to refer to themselves as “the haves” say they simply can’t help it. Read the full story

Share

Posted in Human InterestComments (0)

‘Nouveau Homeless’ Emerge as Travel to Super Bowl Sacked by Mother Nature


Thousands of Steelers and Packers fans found it almost impossible to get to Arlington, Texas for the Super Bowl game to be played on Sunday. Some are telling travel hell stories straight from the play books of the comedy film “Planes, Trains and Automobiles. One weary traveler stranded at Columbus International Airport Friday night was overheard telling his wife, “We’d have more luck playing pickup sticks with our butt-cheeks than we will getting a flight out of here before daybreak.” Read the full story

Share

Posted in Sports EventsComments (0)

World’s Richest Upset They’re Limited to 99.8% of Wealth


People who make up the richest 1% of the world’s population and who already own 98% of the world’s wealth were shocked to learn today that they could not have the last 2% of the wealth that belonged to the other 99% of the people.

“Why, I just don’t understand it,” said Mrs. Sarah Bueford, major shareholder of Bueford Electric, the monopoly that controls all of the power for the states in the southeast part of the U.S. “After all, we are the elite of this world. By reason of the fact that we are the upper class of the world, we should own everything there is!” Read the full story

Share

Posted in SocietyComments (0)

Tax Cuts Will Allow Average Americans to Own Luxury Vehicles


Car makers across the board are reporting hikes in recent sales, with higher-end models doing their fair share of business as well. So it is no surprise that with the news that the Bush tax cuts will most likely be extended, corporate head honchos are placing their orders for luxury new vehicles for themselves and family members.

Lest we think the tax cuts will only benefit Ritchie Rich, however, let’s try and understand how the purchase of new luxury vehicles will benefit the rest of Americans. A lesson in trickle-down is in order. Read the full story

Share

Posted in PoliticsComments (0)

Recession Forces Upper Class to Flirt with Mediocrity


NEW YORK, NY (GlossyNews) — The recent economic downturn has delivered ubiquitous plight across America, but no other group has been as dramatically affected as the upper class. This was readily apparent by watching patrons exit one of New York’s top wine bars on Tuesday. Read the full story

Share

Posted in Top StoriesComments (1)

Glossy News Exclusive Exposés


-- (SEE ALL GlossyNews.com Videos) --



Glossy News Fake Commercials!





Glossy News Podcast


(Listen on iTunes or Libsyn)


More Great Satire:

Check out links to even more of our friends...
Want to see Your Link Here?



Our Top Authors (last 30-days)



All of Our Categories:

Top Stories - Top Stories; Politics - Top Stories; Serious Commentary - Top Stories; World News - Top Stories; Biz News - Top Stories; War Zone | Horoscopes
Entertainment - Entertainment; Celebrity Gossip - Entertainment; Television - Entertainment; Music - Entertainment; Internet Tubes - Entertainment; Books, Newspapers & Misc - Entertainment; Movies
Society - Society; Health - Society; Crime - Society; Travel - Society; Crooked Cops - Society; Education - Society; Strange People - Society; Religionism - Society; Human Interest - Society; Kidz Zone
Science and Technology - Science and Technology; Science - Science and Technology; Technology - Science and Technology; Gadgets & Gizmos - Science and Technology; Environment
Sports - Sports; Scandals - Sports; Athletes - Sports; Events | All the Rest - News in Your Briefs - Making Headlines - Opinion/Editorial