Tag Archive | "protest"

Baseball’s Giants Being Sued by Tall Community


San Francisco, CA–In the midst of the Washington Redskins name-change debacle, there is another American professional sports team under fire for the insensitivity of its nickname.

The San Francisco Giants are in a lawsuit with the civil rights group The Large Humans Organization for the “Giants” name.

“We tall people are offended by this name, and it’s been far too long that America has ignored the atrocity” says LHO representative Joe Bigg, 6’7”. Read the full story

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Group Stages Naked Protest Against Naked Protests


Todays Breaking News: a group of women from Latvia have launched a naked protest against the global outbreak of naked protests, I assure you there is a lot of information to go with this story, but right now I am finding it very ‘hard’ to concentrate.

The story is still developing, the protest has attracted a lot of spectators, but i am not sure they are very interested in the subject because most of them appear to be playing with something in their pockets. Read the full story

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Protester Ousted for Using Capitalism-Made Product


A woman was removed from protest group Occupy after fellow member found out that she used commercial sanitary products.

Mary Chambers was dishonorably dismissed from the group following an incident were her bag fell open and the contents fell to the ground including female sanitary products.

Eyewitnesses said that a tampon rolled across the floor to the outrage of onlookers.

“I saw her bend over really quickly to pick it up and hide it under her jacket. I was just so, so, shocked” Said Harriet from New England.

“I mean it is totally disloyal to the reasons why we are here, she tried to deny it but we all saw and circled in around her.”

There is some disagreement as to what happened next but it resulted in Ms Chambers being removed from the group meeting in New York.

“I am so angry, this goes against everything we stand for. She is using the tools of the fat cats to catch her menstruation. It’s like she is literally being fucked by capitalism every 28 days.” Said, outspoken, Sara from New York.

She continued: “We have evidence that shows that those tampons were made in sweatshops in Indonesia and China using child labor.”

“She has completely dishonored the sisterhood here in the Occupy group, she should be ashamed of herself for using the products of an unjust capitalist system for her own convenience.”

Ms Chambers was unavailable for comment.

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All 15 Fans of Hockey Lament over Lockout


NEW YORK- The NHL lockout, well within its second week, has left most sports fans uninterrupted, except for the few that consider themselves a fan of hockey.

Although sources indicate that hockey is popular in other countries, it has never actualized itself as an enjoyable pastime in America. That is except for the fifteen fans that have gathered in front of the NHL head quarters in New York City to demand the team owners recognize the players’ demands.

“This is an out rage,” exclaims Doug Peterson. Read the full story

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Occupy Living Room Protests Still Fighting On


SACRAMENTO- After federal indictments and search warrants have been issued to Occupy Wall Street protest leaders, the Occupy Living Room protests have been continually pressing on, despite harsh criticisms.

Although the Occupy Wall Street has lost momentum since last year, the Occupy Living Room movement has been gaining speed and intellectual gravity. Read the full story

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Roving Bands of Children Rule Chicago


CHICAGO- While the teachers strike is in full swing, the closing of public schools has allowed roving bands of children to compete for supremacy on Chicago’s streets. While reports are unclear which group has gained the most territory, it is understood that there are power struggles through out the city.

The children, ranging from ages 5 to 17, have organized themselves in to small militia groups based on preexisting gang affiliations. Read the full story

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Hooray For Me, F**k You: Filthy Rich Protest for More Wealth


NEW YORK – Jumping on the protest bandwagon, which began with a carefully orchestrated campaign of coddled working and middle class protesters in Wisconsin and elsewhere fighting to retain their grossly overpaid wages and awesome HMO benefits, the wealthy minority of America’s oppressed upper class are staging a counter protest to keep their inheritances and legally stolen wealth, plus interest. Read the full story

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Beck, Palin Hold DC Rally for ‘White Folks’


WASHINGTON DC (GlossyNews) — On August 28, 2010, in a jaw-dropping spectacle of blatant bigotry, Fox News racist extraordinaire Glenn Beck, and Sarah Palin, Mrs. White Trash with Money 2010, held a KKK rally today on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial on the anniversary of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s “I have a dream speech“ 47 years ago to the day. Read the full story

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DUI Laws Lead to Unfair Profiling of Drunks


San Francisco, CA (GlossyNews) — Piggybacking on the protests over Arizona’s new immigration law that demands proof of citizenship from people dressed in pointy cowboy boots, polyester shirts, tattered sombreros and riding old girl’s bikes, an army of drunken drivers are furious over current DUI laws they believe target their right to drive like kooks and kill anyone in their paths.

The loosely organized group, known as, “I Drink I Drive,“ or I.D.I.D., whose platform includes a whiff of libertarianism, has fired off several letters to the President and Governors of various states and are planning a semi-orchestrated protest that involves driving thousands of cars into state capital buildings Read the full story

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Coal Mine Canaries Plan Protest Over Working Conditions


Weirton, WVa – A group of canaries have put their tiny talons down once and for all and are claiming they have the most hazardous job in the world and should have a place in line for various government concessions.

Ith true,” says a canary known only as Precious, “The time hath come for all canarieth to thpeak in unithon on thith very important matter. For over one hundred yearths, our rapid heartbeats were thilenced and thwee were put in a mine with only carbon monoxthide to breathe, while humanth hung around outthide the mine hoping we would die so they wouldn’t have to work that day. Read the full story

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Glenn Beck Wants Viewers’ Blood in Protest of Healthcare Reform


Taking a cue from the Red Shirt movement in Thailand where approximately 50,000 protesters siphoned their own blood to throw on members of Congress, Glenn Beck is considering asking his viewers to have their blood drawn and sent to his show in vials to be used in protest of the current administration.

Dubbed the “Red Sweater” movement, Beck believes that bloodletting is one of the most appropriate forms of protest especially in association with the debate on health care reform. “One of the oldest medical procedures known to man can now be a symbolic form of protest for those of us who believe that the current administration is ‘bleeding us dry’ with their socialist programs,” said Beck.

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President Obama Assaulted With Caramels


Taking his cue from a popular American television show, President Karzai of Afghanistan lobs candy at President Obama, believing it to be an act of endearment. Read the full story

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