NEW YORK – Jumping on the protest bandwagon, which began with a carefully orchestrated campaign of coddled working and middle class protesters in Wisconsin and elsewhere fighting to retain their grossly overpaid wages and awesome HMO benefits, the wealthy minority of America’s oppressed upper class are staging a counter protest to keep their inheritances and legally stolen wealth, plus interest. Read the full story

WASHINGTON DC (GlossyNews) — On August 28, 2010, in a jaw-dropping spectacle of blatant bigotry, Fox News racist extraordinaire Glenn Beck, and Sarah Palin, Mrs. White Trash with Money 2010, held a KKK rally today on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial on the anniversary of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s “I have a dream speech“ 47 years ago to the day. Read the full story

San Francisco, CA (GlossyNews) — Piggybacking on the protests over Arizona’s new immigration law that demands proof of citizenship from people dressed in pointy cowboy boots, polyester shirts, tattered sombreros and riding old girl’s bikes, an army of drunken drivers are furious over current DUI laws they believe target their right to drive like kooks and kill anyone in their paths.

The loosely organized group, known as, “I Drink I Drive,“ or I.D.I.D., whose platform includes a whiff of libertarianism, has fired off several letters to the President and Governors of various states and are planning a semi-orchestrated protest that involves driving thousands of cars into state capital buildings Read the full story

Weirton, WVa – A group of canaries have put their tiny talons down once and for all and are claiming they have the most hazardous job in the world and should have a place in line for various government concessions.

Ith true,” says a canary known only as Precious, “The time hath come for all canarieth to thpeak in unithon on thith very important matter. For over one hundred yearths, our rapid heartbeats were thilenced and thwee were put in a mine with only carbon monoxthide to breathe, while humanth hung around outthide the mine hoping we would die so they wouldn’t have to work that day. Read the full story

Taking a cue from the Red Shirt movement in Thailand where approximately 50,000 protesters siphoned their own blood to throw on members of Congress, Glenn Beck is considering asking his viewers to have their blood drawn and sent to his show in vials to be used in protest of the current administration.

Dubbed the “Red Sweater” movement, Beck believes that bloodletting is one of the most appropriate forms of protest especially in association with the debate on health care reform. “One of the oldest medical procedures known to man can now be a symbolic form of protest for those of us who believe that the current administration is ‘bleeding us dry’ with their socialist programs,” said Beck.

Taking his cue from a popular American television show, President Karzai of Afghanistan lobs candy at President Obama, believing it to be an act of endearment. Read the full story