Searchlight, NV – A group of hippies, outraged that the Tea Party Movement is advertising their Saturday protest rally in Sen. Harry Reid’s hometown of Searchlight, Nevada as a conservative Woodstock, decided to teach Palin and her cronies a lesson they’d not soon forget about using the Woodstock name in such a profane manner. Read the full story

PHOENIX, AZ — Former Faux-Con presidential candidate and current Senator John McCain is running scared in his home state these days against a teabagger-type radio talkshow host who boasts of his plans to put Senator McCain down!

“Nothin’ doin’! This guy ain’t gonna take MY Senate seat away from me,” said a disgruntled McCain at a press conference today. “I’m bringin’ in the big guns here. Scott and Sarah. It’s high noon! The two top vote getters in the whole country are comin’ in to help get me — yes, me, re-elected.” Read the full story

Arguably the most appealing characteristic of Sarah Palin is that she’s one of us. She’s not one of those elitists who finished her undergrad degree from just one school, and she doesn’t know what the heck Charlie Gibson is talking about when he springs ambiguous gotcha questions like the one about the Bush Doctrine. We all know what Bush stood for, but none of us knew what the heck that question was all about… could you be any more vague, Chuckles McGibson, hack? Read the full story

Upon hearing that Michigan defense contractor, Trijicon, has been supplying the US military with rifle sights inscribed with New Testament Bible passage references on them, Sarah Palin contacted the company’s headquarter offices to try and pull some strings to get a few of the rifle sights for her own hunting rifles. Read the full story

Sandpoint, ID (GlossyNews) — Sarah Palin may not be smarter than an inner-city or deep-south fifth grader, but on Friday, she’ll earned something few 5th graders have — a high school diploma; well, a high school equivalency certificate, at any rate.

After months of intensive study at a secret compound in Idaho, former gubernatorial quitter Palin has successfully completed the requirements for her GED, including the “trying” written test. Her success comes well ahead of the 1 -year deadline she backdated for herself in hindsight. Read the full story

A thoroughly entertaining book, The Game Change, has brought to light some “wish we hadn’t said that” moments from almost everyone associated with the 2008 Presidential campaign scene. So I just couldn’t wait to get my hands on a copy to see for myself what all the hubbub was about, especially when I heard that Harry Reid, the gosh-darn nicest, I-don’t-have-a-racist-bone-in-my-body kinda guy is credited with the now infamous line spoken when he was trying to make the case that the country was ready for a black presidential candidate…and referred to Obama as a “light-skinned African American with no Negro dialect, unless he wanted to have one.” Read the full story

Fired up by Sarah Palin’s bestseller, Going Rogue, a grassroots movement appears to be taking root, one that embraces Ms. Palin’s style, her way of speaking, and her insistence on being an individual.

“We’re selling a complete rogue package for the holiday season,” says Lou Hoggert, manager of merchandizing for Wal-Mart. “For $26.99, you get Sarah’s book, a flag pin, and a stuffed pig wearing lipstick.” Read the full story

New York, NY: Legions of former Alaska Governor, Sara Palin, supporters reacted with disappointment with her new tell all book, “Going Rogue,” according to national opinion polls. The poll of approximately 5,000 self identified conservatives showed that while 52% “enjoyed the book,” and “agreed with its message and goals for America.” However, a whopping 87% expressed “disappointment” in that “the book failed to deliver what they expected to see.” Read the full story

Minneapolis, MN — An Airbus A320 jet flown by a Northwest Airlines pilot and co-pilot have won the 23rd Annual Eau Claire—St. Cloud Corn Maze Run. The oldest airplane corn maze in the western world announced NWA Flight 188 were the winners by almost 28 minutes over the second place winner, 3-time Maze Grand Prize winner, Todd Palin from Alaska. Mr Palin used a dog team and sled in each of the 4 years he has entered the race. Read the full story

WASILLA, ALASKA — A woman defense contractor in Huntsville, Ala., won the “Dangerous” Dining with Sarah Palin eBay auction — her bid was $63,500.

Auction details only allow the winning bidder to bring three friends to the dinner. Palin’s spokeswoman said “the former Governor and former First Dude Todd are thrilled that, above all, our wounded warriors are being recognized and honored, and will receive all of the leftover stew. It is a small token of appreciation for their sacrifices on behalf of our great nation.” Read the full story

One-time underdog beauty pageant contestant and VP candidate Sarah Palin had a rocky, some might rightly say unfair, relationship with the media during her short-lived aspiration to the second-highest office in the land. Instead of simply promoting herself, she’s picking at fresh scabs earned in battle against the media, mainstream and otherwise, seemingly unaware that the media still holds the same worldwide sway they did during her storied run, and that they still don’t much care for her or her unusual antics. Read the full story

God, highest imagined power in all the universe, perhaps best known as the creator of day and night, took a few minutes away from his daily chore of answering billions of prayers for wealth, fame and sexual partners to publicly address a persistent request from one of his most visible, though least faithful followers, John McCain. “No,” said God, with a chorus of angels in accompaniment. “I will not honor the requests of you or Sarah Palin. Sorry. I have bigger things to deal with and you should stop praying to me for this.” Read the full story