Bucharest,Romania – (SatireWorld.Com)
Ruthless communist era dictator Nicolae Ceausescu and his wife were hastily exhumed today in order to give them their annual dinner of roasted potatoes and salt. Every year since their summary execution on Christmas Day 1989, the bodies have been dug up, fed, additional DNA gathered, and the bodies re-buried as required by a 1990 governmental order.
According to Lech Montoc, a burial attendent at the military cementery, ‘Not much has changed except their clothing needs a real good washing.”
PHOTO INSERT: Grave diggers claim that buried in the same grave was a wrapped McDonald’s cheeseburger that still looked edibile after almost 23 years.
Ceausescu and his cronies ruled with an iron-fisted dictatorship in once communist Romania for over 25 brutal years. Food shortages, clothing rationing, and endless 24 hour-7 days a week of forced ballroom dancing caused the Romanian revolution of 1989. Ceasescu and his wife were found guilty and shot using the same bullet 11 times as a mocking testimony to ‘rationing.’
Alois Turneauc, age 77 recalls the event, “I had to shoot one of them. Then stop. Then dig out the spent bullet, reform it. Reload the reformed bullet into a new brass casing, then shoot one of them again. It took over 4 hours to complete the execution because they wouldn’t sit still! I was late for Christmas dinner. My wife was furious!”
This years exhumation will have a relatively small celebration and crowds expected be range upwards of 45,000. The headline entertainer will be Bruc Springsteensky and the E-F-G Street Band who’ll perform vintage polkas and some ballroom dancing music for old times sake.
always my pleasure Mike….
It's traditions like this that warm my heart, especially as the holidays start. Thank you bargis for bringing this to our attention.