Tag Archive | "newspapers"

Interview: Katie Hopkins Educates Me on ‘Disrespectful Behaviour’


Some time ago, I posted on my Wallace Runnymede blog the following piece:

London’s Drone-Happy Cockroach Caucus Loses Its Shit (But not its Bullshit)

The “Foreign Office” in London (formerly known as Airstrip One’s Ministry for Eternal War) has recently moralistically condemned the Russian government which (according to the IntCom/ComHum party line), has “no justification” (sic) for deciding who can or cannot enter the country.

Nick Clegg can’t enter Russia? It’s political correctness gone mad, innit! It weren’t like that in the old days, mate. Read the full story

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Celebrity GossipComments (0)

Satire Writer Bittered by Real Life


A SATIRE writer has become jaded after working on a ‘real’ newspaper.

The satire writer, who can not be named because I don’t want to, has revealed to Glossy News that she, erm… that she, or he, has found it increasingly difficult to write satire after their experience in a newsroom.

The writer said: “When I write satire, I often do so from my soapbox, which I sit on, alone, in the dark.

“It usually results in me mindlessly watching the TV or laughing at Internet memes, but after six hours my eyes get tired so I just write something stupid and call it satire.

“But my whole perspective on life has changed ever since I did some work at a proper newspaper.”

The anonymous writer says that they could not believe the stories that were news worthy and has subsequently found it difficult to write anything meaningful, the writer said: “I began to question everything, the price of cheese, why a cat on the train tracks is news, why blue is blue, my existence, everything.

“What place in this world do I have as a writer of satire, making up convoluted, bizarre scenarios, when out there, in the ‘real’ world, they were already happening and being written about?”

The writer pointed to examples of their work that had been written a few months, or in some cases, days, before actual similar events took place: “A good example would be when I wrote about hobos being government spies who were placed to track down minor crimes, turns out it is totally true, I read it in a newspaper.

“There was also the time I wrote about celebrity women being so unnatural that they were actually from an alternate reality. Yesterday I read a report in the newsroom that they are actually aliens sent here to slowly ebb away at our sense of decency and self esteem.”

Asked if they would return to satire, the writer said: “Screw it, I am through with all this, it is getting scary how close to reality satire can be. They say ‘you can’t make it up’, well they are right and that puts me out of a job.”

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & MiscComments (5)

Newspapers Sleep with the Fishes


MIAMI–Newspapers became unwitting casualties of Black Friday after holiday shoppers swore off traditional sales marketing to shop discounts by smartphone.

“I got the paper once a week, on Sundays and only for the coupons,” said one early morning shopper. “No more. With my phone, I can download my store app of choice and voila! No scissors, no messy ink-stained hands, no coupon organizer and best of all, no more bad news I can’t do anything about!” Read the full story

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Posted in Human InterestComments (1)

Newspapers Decline as Baked Beans Continue to Boom


New figures show the continuing decline of print newspaper circulation all over the world.

Circulation is down a further 15% from last year’s figures, meaning that fewer people are buying a newspaper.

Professor John McDonald, department head of the scientific study of journalism said: “It would appear that the figures show fewer people are purchasing newspapers, which will mean less papers are sold”. Read the full story

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & MiscComments (4)

Obama Taps Dan Rather to Save Dying Newspaper Industry


In a surprise appearance at today’s White House Press briefing, President Obama introduced Dan Rather as his new “Dead Tree Press Czar.” Rather will be tasked to oversee the federal takeover of 27 failing liberal newspapers. “We cannot allow newsrooms favorable to our agenda to disappear simply because the American people no longer trust them,” the President said. “That would be honest, but stupid.” Rather chimed in with, “My uncle used to say, ‘When you got live fish in a barrel, catch the whoppers first and gut ‘em ‘fore you go back to the bait store.” From the back of the room, Democratic advisor James Carville called out “Hey Dan! Say what?”

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