Ever since Mitt Romney announced his bid for the GOP nomination for President in 2012, America has been embroiled in a controversy, i.e. whether a Moron could actually become President of the United States.

And now, another Moron has launched his candidacy. Former Utah Governor, Jon Huntsman, Jr. announced this week that he will travel the high road in his quest to become the GOP frontrunner for President. Read the full story

HOLLYWOOD, Calif. (Glossy News) — The rights for the 1954 movie Seven Brides for Seven Brothers , long ago lost, have fallen into Public Domain. As such, it can be remade or have its title used by anyone without having to pay any royalties to the original writer or production company. Seven different film producers are scrambling to see that their movie is the first to hit the big screen.

The original movie tells the story of the Pontipee brothers, who kidnap a group of girls to become their wives. As they live in backwoods Oregon in the 1850′s, and an avalanche traps them on their farm on the other side of a mountain range, the girls cannot be rescued and fall in love with their kidnappers before their fathers get to them. Read the full story

Coming off the self-proclaimed super success of his Restoring Honor Rally in Washington, D.C., Glenn Beck has reached the level of leadership needed to take his prophetic brand of hegemony to the next level. But is his firebrand flavor of beliefs different enough and believable enough to catch on with the majority of Christians who are tired of being lied to? Read the full story

HUNTINGTON BEACH, California (GLossyNews) — A California scientist has come up with a novel idea: He has learned to harness the hatred of millions of bigoted Californians to create energy and make minorities rich in the process. Doctor Eli Lafitte, a graduate of Grambling State University, and later of UC Berkeley, says he, “has long known about the energy that permeates a room when an African-American or gay person walks in. It is known as hate by gay people and racism by African-Americans. You can definitely feel it and it makes your hair stand on end, just like static electricity. Read the full story

COLORADO CITY, Arizona (GlossyNews) — Glenn Beck University was begun earlier this year by Glenn Beck following his receiving an honorary doctorate from fundamentalist Christian-led Liberty University.

Beck now believes he is qualified to offer college-level courses in American History, Economics and the Constitution, and does so under the guise of calling his courses Faith, Hope and Charity. It is, for Beck, a noble cause. He is single-handedly teaching the “truth” to anyone who will listen. Read the full story

Noplace, Ecuador (GlossyNews) — A young Christian missionary, chomping at the bit and excited that a fresh field of new pygmy souls was ripe for harvest, was distressed to find that a National Geographic photographer paid tribe members less than eight dollars each for their souls not two months before his arrival.

With Bible in tow, Christian Missionary, Jonah Thompson, was found standing in the soulless remains of a pygmy tribe outside of Ecuador, watching what looked like normal tribe activity Read the full story

Salt Lake City, UT – Thurl Bailey step aside, the LDS Church will soon have a new spokesmodel. In a bizarre turn of events yesterday morning, LDS Church elders in Salt Lake City announced that Tiger Woods has decided to join the Mormon Church. Woods, who has been searching for meaning to his life like a bum searching for change, stumbled upon two Mormon missionaries over the Christmas holidays and has embraced the faith. Read the full story

Dear Hank,

I’ve been cheating on my wife since before I met her, and I think she might be starting to get suspicious. It’s getting pretty hairy, but winter is coming so we don’t do too much shaving up here you know.

Should I fake my own death or just tell her I’m a long-haul trucker, or that I’m going to prison for a few years. I know these are only temporary fixes, but I drink like a fish and smoke like a chimney, so I figure I’ll be dead in a few years either way. That’s bad for the kids (only 2 with the wife, but 3 with the secret wife.) Read the full story

Sun Moon University, Seoul, South Korea —The final 10,000 Moonies exchanged their marriage vows this week. The ceremony came just before Utah’s Latter Day Saints, the Mormons, prepared to take over the franchise from Rev. Moon and his three sons. Read the full story