Tag Archive | "layoffs"

Layoffs Rampant, Fired Employee Knows Solution (COMIC)


We’ve all worked in this kind of office. You know the solution is so simple it’s right in your face, but you’d be crazy to come right out and say it… well, this guy did.

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GlossyNews Staff Shocked By Layoff Notices


In a surprising development this morning layoff notices were delivered to the 45 employees of the company who work in the print division. This was an unexpected move coming so close on the heels of the recent tenth anniversary.

Locked in a heated battle for overall supremacy of the satire market with long time rival The Onion, GlossyNews has consistently shown class and humor while it’s competitor has only occasionally shown either. Read the full story

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Post Office Devises Uniquely Dastardly Ways to “Reduce” Staff


Post Offices across the U.S., faced with the necessity of laying off 40,000 employees, have come up with unique methods of accomplishing this goal.

The administrators at the main distribution center in Denver, Colorado have set up a scam where the employee coffee machines will only dispense ice-cold coffee to its midnight shift. Read the full story

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Budget Cutbacks Release Hoards of Idiot Nephews


NEW BRIGHTON, Pennsylvania (BNSE) — State and local law enforcement agencies were placed on high alert today as thousands of idiot nephews began massing around the state in the wake of massive layoffs from state agencies and local businesses due to severe budget cutbacks as a result of the slow economy.

“Oh, dear God… Dear God… This is bad… I mean real bad,” said an official spokesman for the Governor’s office before he broke down in tears. “We never thought it would come to this. None of us did. I mean, it was my mother, you know. She puts me on the spot right at Thanksgiving dinner about why I can’t get Willie a job. I just wanted to eat some turkey, dammit, and now Willie’s not penned up for eight hours a day at the DMV and I can’t reach my wife on the cell phone!.” Read the full story

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Tips on Keeping Your Job in a Sucky Economy


Well I am still employed! So things can’t be too bad. Every day while having my coffee and donuts, I read about massive layoffs and wonder if the ax will ever fall over here. So today I am going to offer some valuable tips to the working men and woman of America on how to look busy at work so you don’t get your lazy assets fired. Read the full story

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NHS Euthanasia Policy a Real Killer


As New Labour’s plan to slash the National Health Service workforce by 10% – from doctors to drudges – encounters caustic criticism, the Department of Ill-Health mandarins switch tracks and are now ordering nursing staff to cut all palliative care of elderly patients and promote a policy of drastic Nazi-era euthenasia to make ends meet. Read the full story

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