“I never even stalked Samatha, who said that I did?” Denial is the biggest river in the world, and one upon which her yellow fin mammals seem all too content into which to lie. Are dolphins aiding Lindsay Lohan in her stocking efforts?

No they aren’t. Read the full story

Faced with rising public clamor for more 3-D products, US researchers at federal facilities have pressed hard to deliver the world in full, three dimensional viewing. Invigorated by a recent grant of over $100 billion dollars, head scientists feel they can soon fulfill the Obama administration’s promise for “a change you can believe in.” Read the full story

Hollywoodland, CA (GlossyNews) — It has been whispered for months among the tight knit enclaves of Tinsel town. Following a recent spate of high profile suicides however, insiders are now speaking openly on the panic gripping their industry. Hollywood is running out of crappy material.

Glo-Mar Films CEO Lane Fontana spoke this week from Malibu’s exclusive ‘Pssst, You can smoke in here’ Bistro. “Ellen from GVI Studios driving her car off that cliff? What a tragic waste. That was a sweet little Porsche.” Read the full story

HOLLYWOOD, CA — Brittany Murphy was a hardworking actress who was juggling multiple movie projects in the months leading up to her unexpected death, according to Hollywood sources.

“This is truly a loss,” lamented Norgay Pfifflebother, an expert on homemade celebrity porn who consults for the Screen Actor’s Guild (SAG) and the Writer’s Guild of America (WGA). Read the full story

More trouble for John Edwards surfaced this week when a close family friend told various gossip publications that the disgraced former Democratic presidential candidate struck his cancer-stricken wife during a shocking marriage-ending brawl. Read the full story