Tag Archive | "evolution"

Sam Harris Drives Dinosaurs out of the Schools


Prominent atheist and achingly non-woolly intellectual figure Sam Harris has persuaded some Democratic Senators to try to stop The Flintstones from being shown in science classes.

Not only that. Teachers used to allocate some general class time just before vacation to watch such cartoons, to help the kids wind down. But they can’t even do that now. Read the full story

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Posted in Religionism, ScienceComments (0)

Spectacular Creationist Breakthrough: World Much Older Than We All Thought


Entirely Non-Superfluous Disclaimer

Sorry to be reworking a previous piece from TheSpoof.com here. I mean, it’s not that I’m running out of ideas…

But I’ve already got so much tedious crapola in my hatebox from the “Labour Leak” article, that I’m playing it safe…

With a completely respectful, mainstream, non-edgy piece that is LITERALLY 100% INCAPABLE of offending anybody. Read the full story

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Posted in Religionism, ScienceComments (1)

WWII-Era Sub Found At 7-Eleven


O’AHU, HAWAII — Researchers in Hawaii have uncovered a World War II-era submarine sandwich inside the island’s only 7-Eleven store location.

The sub, known in the early 1940s as a “Spam-n-Depression Special” is made up of mostly Spam, lettuce and iron ore.

RIGHT: An historical photograph of a similar sandwich in its prime, ca. 1941. (CLICK TO ENLARGE) Read the full story

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Posted in ScienceComments (4)

Emergency Rooms Filled with Victims of Thumb Amputations


Hospitals and 911 phone banks were overwhelmed Saturday night when 16% of the nation lost its thumbs. “It was mass chaos,” said Doctor Anne Fulbright at Dallas General Hospital.

“All of sudden all these thumbless white people showed up spurting blood all over the place.” Nurse Socket, a thirty-three year veteran of the emergency room, nodded in agreement. “We just wrapped their hands and kept at it until we were using bed sheets.” Read the full story

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HIV Cured in Monkeys, People Who Have Sex Exclusively With Monkeys


PORTLAND, Ore. — Researchers at Oregon Health and Science University have developed a vaccine capable of clearing an HIV-like virus from primate test subjects and which is being hailed as a breakthrough discovery for people who have sex exclusively with monkeys. Read the full story

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The Latest Thing In Human Evolution- Interchangeable Body Parts


According to Genesis God made man out of the dust of the earth and woman out of Adams rib- not an especially impressive start. But in the thousands of years since then things have changed and so have we humans.

In Adam’s and Eve’s time they only needed to wear fig leaves to survive the environment until you-know-who came along. Nowadays one almost needs a suit of armor. Read the full story

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Posted in Biz News, Human InterestComments (0)

Origin of Everything Is NOT Magical (comic)


There’s a lot of magical thinking going on these days, especially in America… but what if I told you that there are some fairly natural, reasonably well understood mechanisms for just about everything that has brought life to where it is today?

Well that’s the world we live in. You won’t hear about it in church, it’s counter to their millenia-old Bedouin urban legends and fairy tales.

Think you know the Bible? Take the GlossyNews Unbeatable Bible Quiz!

I spent 20-years in Bible study. I never learned one thing about science. Once doubt crept in, I spent about 10-hours straight on this novel little thing called “the internet” and I learned more about the Bible than I had in my whole life. Read the full story

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Posted in Comics, ScienceComments (9)

Evolution Wins Prestigious Overachievement Award


Last week, the Humboldt Overachiever Award for Science and the Humanities was given to none other than The Theory of Evolution—and Dr. Richard Dawkins was there to receive the prize in its stead.

“In the face of impossible odds,” Dr. Dawkins began his speech to the international forum, “Evolution has not only given us a beautiful and remarkable planet on which life can be sustained, it’s also given us ourselves!—wonderfully complex, sentient beings built on replicated code far more advanced than any of today’s modern computers.” Read the full story

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Posted in Science, Science & TechnologizzyComments (4)

Scientists Find Dolphins Could Once Dance a Jig


New Zealand scientists have proven that it is another mammal other than man that is the smartest creature on earth. Recent evidence has convinced them that the dolphin uses the most brain cells and not his distant relative the homo sapien.

The Kiwi brainiacs had found that dolphins have an extra set of bones near their midsection that might have at one time been legs for moving about on land (this is true). Read the full story

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Band of Apes Challenges Theory of Evolution


Bailey’s Crossroads, VA (GlossyNews) — A band of African Mountain Gorillas has arrived in Washington D.C. for a hearing in District Court to debunk Darwin’s Theory of Evolution, and challenge the findings in the famous Scopes Monkey Trial that allows the teaching in public schools that man has evolved from a lower order of animals.

“It’s stupid, really,” said head ape, known only as Mubundo. “We’ve been sitting out there in that sweltering hell-hole for thousands of years and are we human yet? Read the full story

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Posted in Human InterestComments (2)

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