Tag Archive | "end of days"

So Long, Farewell, Adieu: The End is Coming and it Will Get You Too


Greetings dear Readers!

[EDITOR’S NOTE: Due to the advice of what later turned out to be a con artist, this article was not reviewed for publication prior to the end of days deadline. We had been assured that the world was ending, and as such we ceased editorial efforts and all got hooked on heroine instead.

As a result, this article is coming out late, my skin itches and I think I need to take that thin film of skin off my eye. I haven’t decided yet.]

As we all know the legendary 21st of December is almost upon us which means that according to the Mayan Calendar tomorrow we are all going to croak in horrible ways.

On behalf of myself and the rest of the Glossy News staff I just wanted to take this time to say thanks to all our readers and that it has been a fun ride. You have been a swell audience and we have certainly had some fun laughs together. Read the full story

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Mayans Were Right? Religious Scholars Say Gay Marriage Sign End Is Near


Experts in ancient Mayan culture have been prophesizing the world will come to a cataclysmic end in 2012. They base this on detailed interpretations of the ancient Mayan calendar.

Thanks to President Obama’s shocking revelation earlier this summer that he supports the rights of gays and lesbians to marry, these scholars now are even more convinced the Mayans were probably right, arguing we’re in the final days before Homoggedon. Read the full story

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Posted in Religionism, SocietyComments (1)

SatireWorld to give out free Mayan Calendars To Celebrate The Apocalypse


(SatireWorld.com) – One of the web’s leading satire sites has broken new ground in promoting its site by offering a free gift to readers… In this case a free Mayan Calendar!

Since December 21, 2012 is the supposed end of all mankind according to several religions and is also the end of the Mayan Calendar, the coincidence has allowed many to think the ancients had a forewarning of a rather bleak Christmas season to come. It has also sparked fear amongst the paranoid, and hopes among those who wish the world as we know it a speedy and violent end. Read the full story

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Mayans, Nostradamus Agree on Donald Trump Armageddon Scenario


Machu Picchu, dusk – GlossyNews.com: After ten seconds of reciprocal nodding over candlelight, Nostradamus and Mayan elders have announced they are in complete agreement with their Donald Trump apocalyptic destruction prophecies.

“I clearly mentioned that guy in the 3rd verse of the 4th Quatrain,” declared Nostradamus, whose only failed prediction was his own death in 1566. Read the full story

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Poodles Dropping Like Flies in France


First it was fishes, then it was birds, now it’s poodles. Thousands of standard poodles are dropping like flies in France. While miniature, tea cup, toy and other varieties of poodles seem to be thriving in France and other parts of the world, the standard or authentic “French” poodle seems to be a dying breed. Read the full story

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Pope Declares God Not Dead, Only on Vacation


Speaking ex cathedra from the Vatican today, Pope Benedict XVI, in response to the many rumors that God (aka The Almighty, Yahweh, Allah, Bhagwan, etc.) is dead, attempted to clarify the Global situation and put the rumors to rest once and for all.

In an interview with Fr. Guido Sarducci, editor of The Vatican Enquirer, Pope Benny revealed that he had had a long conversation with The Almighty regarding his apparent lack of interest in matters earthly. Read the full story

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21/12/2012: Oprah-Geddon Approaches


2012 is coming – approaching fast. A time to be afraid – very afraid – as the threadbare cliché goes. Actually I’d advise you to be more than very afraid – shit-scared would be more appropriate, in point in fact.

21/12/2012 – the end of the World as we know it – and all thanks to Oprah Winfrey. Read the full story

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Arctic Now Hot Enough to Grow Grapes


Arctic temperatures are now higher than at any time in the last 2,000 years according to a personal report given to Fox News by the dipshit UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon who has just spent the past week wandering around in his underpants and a pair of flip flops north of the 66th parallel to investigate for himself if all this propaganda-driven brouhaha and panic put out by the Al Bore camp and the Carbon Exchange Cap n Trade shysters is founded on truth – or bullshit spewed out from the usual ‘all-for-greater-profits’ anal mechanism. Read the full story

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