Posted on 28 August 2014.
The GOP is getting worried about outside infiltration and even supernatural omens, as rumor has it that Rick Perry has revealed himself to aides as the literal anti-Reagan.
No need to worry about fire and brimstone, signs in the Heavens, and the standard apocalyptic phenomena which might conceivably be interpreting as heralding the end of days for some Republicans, as you’ll read.
There is a perfectly innocent (well, more-or-less innocent) explanation. Here’s what Rick has to say about the latest development in the War Against Reagan: Read the full story
Posted in Crime, Politics
Posted on 22 December 2012.
Greetings dear Readers!
[EDITOR’S NOTE: Due to the advice of what later turned out to be a con artist, this article was not reviewed for publication prior to the end of days deadline. We had been assured that the world was ending, and as such we ceased editorial efforts and all got hooked on heroine instead.
As a result, this article is coming out late, my skin itches and I think I need to take that thin film of skin off my eye. I haven’t decided yet.]
As we all know the legendary 21st of December is almost upon us which means that according to the Mayan Calendar tomorrow we are all going to croak in horrible ways.
On behalf of myself and the rest of the Glossy News staff I just wanted to take this time to say thanks to all our readers and that it has been a fun ride. You have been a swell audience and we have certainly had some fun laughs together. Read the full story
Posted in Sports Events
Posted on 06 August 2012.
Experts in ancient Mayan culture have been prophesizing the world will come to a cataclysmic end in 2012. They base this on detailed interpretations of the ancient Mayan calendar.
Thanks to President Obama’s shocking revelation earlier this summer that he supports the rights of gays and lesbians to marry, these scholars now are even more convinced the Mayans were probably right, arguing we’re in the final days before Homoggedon. Read the full story
Posted in Religionism, Society
Posted on 24 July 2012.
I’ve been given ample amounts of grief for my review and assessment that FlashForward being cancelled was a good thing, and so I’ve gone to the library to get the full DVD goodness… having watched it again, I’m still as glad that it’s been cancelled as I am that I didn’t pay to see it, and here are five more reasons as to why. Read the full story
Posted in Television
Posted on 04 July 2012.
(SatireWorld.com) – One of the web’s leading satire sites has broken new ground in promoting its site by offering a free gift to readers… In this case a free Mayan Calendar!
Since December 21, 2012 is the supposed end of all mankind according to several religions and is also the end of the Mayan Calendar, the coincidence has allowed many to think the ancients had a forewarning of a rather bleak Christmas season to come. It has also sparked fear amongst the paranoid, and hopes among those who wish the world as we know it a speedy and violent end. Read the full story
Posted in Society
Posted on 21 April 2011.
Machu Picchu, dusk – GlossyNews.com: After ten seconds of reciprocal nodding over candlelight, Nostradamus and Mayan elders have announced they are in complete agreement with their Donald Trump apocalyptic destruction prophecies.
“I clearly mentioned that guy in the 3rd verse of the 4th Quatrain,” declared Nostradamus, whose only failed prediction was his own death in 1566. Read the full story
Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Strange People
Posted on 14 January 2011.
First it was fishes, then it was birds, now it’s poodles. Thousands of standard poodles are dropping like flies in France. While miniature, tea cup, toy and other varieties of poodles seem to be thriving in France and other parts of the world, the standard or authentic “French” poodle seems to be a dying breed. Read the full story
Posted in Science
Posted on 23 January 2010.
Speaking ex cathedra from the Vatican today, Pope Benedict XVI, in response to the many rumors that God (aka The Almighty, Yahweh, Allah, Bhagwan, etc.) is dead, attempted to clarify the Global situation and put the rumors to rest once and for all.
In an interview with Fr. Guido Sarducci, editor of The Vatican Enquirer, Pope Benny revealed that he had had a long conversation with The Almighty regarding his apparent lack of interest in matters earthly. Read the full story
Posted in Religionism
Posted on 23 November 2009.
2012 is coming – approaching fast. A time to be afraid – very afraid – as the threadbare cliché goes. Actually I’d advise you to be more than very afraid – shit-scared would be more appropriate, in point in fact.
21/12/2012 – the end of the World as we know it – and all thanks to Oprah Winfrey. Read the full story
Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Television
Posted on 13 September 2009.
Arctic temperatures are now higher than at any time in the last 2,000 years according to a personal report given to Fox News by the dipshit UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon who has just spent the past week wandering around in his underpants and a pair of flip flops north of the 66th parallel to investigate for himself if all this propaganda-driven brouhaha and panic put out by the Al Bore camp and the Carbon Exchange Cap n Trade shysters is founded on truth – or bullshit spewed out from the usual ‘all-for-greater-profits’ anal mechanism. Read the full story
Posted in Environment