Tag Archive | "dogs"

4K Glossy News Podcast 047 (6-13-16)

The 4K/UHD podcast is back again this week with more great joking around and fun stuff.

All of this is available in UHD on YouTube by searching “Glossy Podcast” or as an MP3 on iTunes by searching “Glossy News”.

Here are the topics covered in the the June 13th, 2016 edition.

* CD & Game store clerked asked “Can I help you find something?” And the answer was clearly no because the question was impossible… but he still somehow knew the answer. Amazing how good customer service can be. Read the full story


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Dog Escapes Yard, Discovers Nothing (comic)

Dogs seem so happy in the yard. All those chew toys and balls to play with, but it doesn’t stop them from burrowing under fences in search of greener, or in this case, identical pastures.

I’m not saying dogs are dumb. I’m saying they’re adorable. They’re like children who never learn to talk and die in their teens. Pretty much ideal, really. Read the full story


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Even Dogs Can Be Politically Correct (comic)

Political Correctness is pretty annoying at times. Maybe I grew up in a different time, but why can’t I call a Dutchman a clog-stomping windmill-gypsy? And why can’t I call gypsies Greasy Dutchmen?

Well dogs learn from us and our pets are largely on the same page. I could ruin the joke for you, but I’m just not in the mood. So please to enjoy. Read the full story


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Dog Admits Why He Really Loves His Owner (comic)

If you think you know why your dog LIKES you, you’re probably right. If you think you know why your dog LOVES you, you’re likely awfully, awfully wrong.

Dogs are simple creatures. They know love, fear, rage and satisfaction… what they don’t know could fill a library, much as it could with a human, but a solid 1% less. Read the full story


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Does Your Dog Suffer From Any-Attention-Span? (comic)

Some say that dogs are incredibly smart, while other, equally credible people, say dogs are incredibly dumb.

This comic doesn’t endeavor to judge dogs, just meet them on their level and love them for what wonderful stanky fart-factories they are, mange aside. Read the full story


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Are Pets He/She… or IT? (comic)

This troubled me as a young kid. I referred to my dog as a “she” only to be corrected. My dog was apparently an “it”, even though I knew her gender… its gender?

Well that’s the human perspective, so I guess we should look to see the perspective from the beast’s side of it. Read the full story


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Dog Likes Cat, Promptly Shamed (comic)

I once had a cat. I was too little to remember it. I had siblings though, and we fought like cats and/or dogs and/or cats & dogs. Normally it was fine, but sometimes it was… well let’s just say it was interesting.

But what would actually happen if a dog admitted to liking a cat. Sure, we’ve all seen the critters cuddling up on Reddit, but surely they have to be sedated to be so friendly. I know that’s what it takes to get me to cuddle, and while I’m catty, I’m also a dog. Read the full story


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What Happens if You Don’t Worship Your Dog (comic)

Ever come home from what you thought was a normal day only to find your home utterly destroyed by the very beast you’d thought was supposed to be your best friend? Well either you lent your couch to a tweaker buddy, or you didn’t give your Fido quite enough attention.

We all wonder what goes through a dog’s head as he completely trashes your home, but luckily you have me, and I have the answers, so just suckle from the comic teat, my baby, and enjoy the wisdom you gain… can you tell I’m trying to fill column-inches… because I am. Read the full story


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What’s the Best Thing About Being a Dog? (comic)

A well kept dog is generally a happy animal, but why is it so happy? Is it because of all the love you lavish upon it, or just because it can’t remember that you cut off its reproductive organs so you could have a pet?

Why can’t it be all that. All that and so much more. The only part that matters is that your dog loves you and has a happy life, and you made all that possible. Just accept that the tongue lapping your face was on balls and ass mere minutes before and rejoice in the love you get. Read the full story


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Ever Wondered About the Gross Taste in Your Mouth? (comic)

Dogs are great, but also weird and sometimes a bit gross. You know how unpleasant it is when you burp up the taste of onion rings… yeah, well, imagine you have the diet of a dog.

Personally, I’ve never had never had this experience. Then again, there’s a lot of things I haven’t done. Unlike all the others I can think of, this one isn’t on my bucket list. Read the full story


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Canine Bulemia Sweeping the Nation (comic)

Everyone wants to be thin and pretty, so it’s easy to see why our beloved dogs fall victim to the same sorts of pressure as humans.

We could be thin by exercising self-restraint, or, you know, we could just jam a fist down our pie-hole and wretch ourselves inside out. Ta-da! We’re thin. Read the full story


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How Much Really Is That Doggy in the Window? (comic)

We’ve all heard the jingle, but really how much indeed is that doggy in the window?

This age-old question deserves an answer, even if the asker is clearly suffering from some sort of chemical or mental impairment. Seriously, how much money do you want for that doggy in the window?

I’m sure there’s a right answer in here somewhere, but I doubt either of those in this comic have that right answer. Read the full story


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Editorial: An important message from your cat

[This week, Glossy News is pleased to introduce Tuxedo, a 23-pound spokescat who has requested to provide this op-ed piece, representing the views of household cats everywhere.]

Hey, owner. This is your cat. There appears to be a little confusion as to just exactly who’s in charge here. I know, I know. You pay the electric bill, pay the insurance (whatever that is), and you buy all the food. That does not make you king of my castle. I’m afraid I’m going to have to go over the ground rules one more time if I’m going to allow you to stay here. Read the full story


Posted in Human Interest, Opinion/EditorialComments (1)

Hurricane Victims Find Coping With a Treeless Landscape Difficult

Newark, NJ – (SatireWorld.com)

A once thriving grove of maple trees is all but destroyed after hybrid-hurricane Sandy left the Garden State in shambles with winds topping 100 MPH and an unprecented storm that devoured buildings and boardwalk. Now, unseen difficulties plague some of New Jersey’s most beloved inhabitants. Read the full story


Posted in EnvironmentComments (0)

A Bag For Life Not Just For Christmas

Following the extremely successful campaign ‘A Dog is For Life Not Just For Christmas’ the Dogs Trust have strayed a little from their charter by embracing the same slogan for ‘bag for life’.

The Dogs Trust have found that there is a massive increase in sales of ‘bags for life’ in the lead up to Christmas, sighting cute Christmas designs and heavy shopping loads. The Dogs Trust claim that shops have a duty to ensure responsible owners are found rather than the current system which allows anyone to purchase the bags. Read the full story


Posted in Environment, Human InterestComments (1)

Romney Gaffe; Seamus Descendant Bites Back

It’s the shaggy dog story that Mitt Romney can’t shake.

Hounded by animal rights activists for strapping the family dog to the roof of his car during a 12-hour road trip to Canada, the story has refused to lie down and play dead. Read the full story


Posted in PoliticsComments (0)

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