Tag Archive | "dog"

Dog Escapes Yard, Discovers Nothing (comic)


Dogs seem so happy in the yard. All those chew toys and balls to play with, but it doesn’t stop them from burrowing under fences in search of greener, or in this case, identical pastures.

I’m not saying dogs are dumb. I’m saying they’re adorable. They’re like children who never learn to talk and die in their teens. Pretty much ideal, really. Read the full story

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Dog Patiently Explains Concept of Object Permanence to Dumbfounded Owner


SEATTLE — 49-Year-Old Dog “Mr. Truffles,” who clearly saw his owner, Linda Geohring, place his tennis ball behind her back, patiently broke down the concept of object permanence for the dumbfounded 46-year-old, sources reported.

“So, you understand, although I am currently unable to witness the ball’s existence, per se, because of your physical inhabitance of the space between my eyes and said object, I am nevertheless capable of grasping the paramount notion that it is still there,” said Truffles. Read the full story

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What Happens if You Don’t Worship Your Dog (comic)


Ever come home from what you thought was a normal day only to find your home utterly destroyed by the very beast you’d thought was supposed to be your best friend? Well either you lent your couch to a tweaker buddy, or you didn’t give your Fido quite enough attention.

We all wonder what goes through a dog’s head as he completely trashes your home, but luckily you have me, and I have the answers, so just suckle from the comic teat, my baby, and enjoy the wisdom you gain… can you tell I’m trying to fill column-inches… because I am. Read the full story

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Domesticated Dog Claims to Slay Rabbit, Citation Needed (comic)


If you’ve ever let your cat outside, you’ve surely been presented with a trophy kill. Maybe a mouse, a bird, or a smallish neighbor child. Fair enough, lesser creatures need to be selected out.

Dogs, on the other hand, are more likely to bring errant poo into your house, or maybe another dog you’ve never seen before. What can we say, you have the best Snausages in town. Read the full story

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Mother of World’s Hairiest Baby Hospitalized


A 36 year-old woman is undergoing psychiatric testing after it was discovered that she was unaware that the child she had been pushing around in a pram for the last 5 years was in fact a dog.

The dog, known as ‘Snuggles,’ is currently being held at a local dog pound while it waits for the outcome of the mental assessment of its owner. Read the full story

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Yes, Chinese People Really Do Eat Dogs and Cats


I have got to stop eating out at these back alley streets here in China. It’s summer; and it’s hot: and all the foods here in China are rotten!

Did you know that Chinese people eat dogs too? Yeah, they put them in a stew. And it’s delicious!
They eat cats too. But there is just not enough meat on the cats.

Dog meats are mostly lean, as compared to pork. Read the full story

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Posted in Serious CommentaryComments (18)

Upset Lassie Leaves Timmy Down The Well


Through an interpreter (the Dog Whisperer), Lassie has informed local police the she has no plans to tell them which well Timmy is stuck in. The famous collie, who has saved the boy from multiple wells, caves, fires, storms, lions, wolves, bears, snakes, wells, collapsing buildings, and several other life threatening situations, has said that she has had enough. Read the full story

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Posted in Kidz Zone, TelevisionComments (6)

American Poodle Club Rushes to Distance Itself from Gore Scandal


PORTLAND, Oregon (GlossyNews) — Police in Portland, Oregon are reopening their investigation into allegations that Al Gore groped and forced himself onto a masseuse at a local hotel in 2006. While not much has been made public about that incident, the one piece of information that continues to come up in news reports is the fact that the masseuse described Gore’s behavior as “acting like a crazed poodle.” Read the full story

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Senator Caught in “Affair of the Heart” with Neighbor’s Doberman


WASHINGTON, D.C. (GlossyNews) — Anonymous sources are alleging that a prominent but unnamed United States senator is engaged in an intensely emotional relationship with his next door neighbor’s Doberman Pinscher. “It’s only a matter of time before the tabloids get a hold of this,” said a visibly shaken staffer. Read the full story

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