Corcoran State Prison, CA- You see what they try to do. They get in our minds. We gotta beat them by being in our own minds. You’re not the thought police. I’m the f’ing thought police. It’s because I think. They don’t think, you don’t think, but I think. That’s right! I think! I Think that stupid nurse thinks she can just do that stuff to me, but ohhh! Have I got news for her! Read the full story

Authorities at Corcoran State Prison in Corcoran, California recently found a cell phone under inmate Charles Manson’s pillow. When confronted, Manson claimed that he didn’t even know what the hell the thing was and said someone must have planted it there. “Hey, man,” I’m a child from the 60’s, man. What the hell would I know about some piece of shit from the 90’s or whatever the hell decade we’re in, man?” shouted Manson as he grabbed a gnat from the air and ate it. Read the full story

Witnesses claim a shadowy figure identified as Fox News agitator, professional racist, Tea Party provocateur and self-anointed Godsend, Glenn Beck, was seen moving in and out of the visitation chambers of Corcoran State Prison recently. The target of his attention? None other than 75 year old serial killer and 60’s counterculture hero Charles Manson, or “Ol’ Koo Koo” as he is affectionately known by other inmates. Tawdry Soup was lucky enough to get an exclusive interview with the time-stopping psychedelic psycho to find out, “What’s Up?” It went like this: Read the full story

HELL (GlossyNews) — Word comes via famed psychic John Edwards, that legendary sports icon George Steinbrenner has not gone ‘gentle into that good night.’ Other sources confirm Edwards’ assertions. The former Yankees owner has discharged Satan from any further managerial duties of Hell, LLC. Read the full story