Tag Archive | "auto industry"

Evangelicals Just Say (Hell) No to Romney


GlossyNews.com – WASHINGTON, DC — Destruction wrought by Hurricane Sandy finds evangelicals staying home rather than casting a vote for Mitt Romney, Virgil Goode or Mickey Mouse.

The “Lord’s Will” movement initially organized to support evangelical voters in religious despair over casting a vote for a candidate with a propensity towards lying while holding steadfast to the basic value that honesty is a virtue; The Romney Doctrine. Read the full story

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Recall Vehicles Fun to Drive, Say Toyota Ads


Toyota USA – Irvine, CA (GlossyNews) —  In response to ever-expanding recalls, carmaker Toyota will revamp its marketing and advertising programs to emphasize the “fun and excitement” of sudden acceleration, SUV rollovers and other unique attributes its vehicles have become known for.

“We’re missing the fun factor in all this,” Read the full story

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Detroit Dismantled And Moved To Chicago


What is left of the city of Detroit was dismantled and shipped to Illinois this week. The Motor City, long beset by declines in the automotive industry and general economy, has given up the ghost as a separate city entity and will be rebuilt as a new suburb of Chicago called ‘Floyd’. The once proud Midwestern City that saw its heyday as the center of American automotive might has long languished from the onslaught of foreign cars that are smaller, more compact and reasonably priced, much like the foreigners themselves.

The whole endeavor is a slap in the face to the remaining Detroitonians. Read the full story

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America Citizens Revolt: Dismantle Executives


Detroit, MI (GlossyNews) — The citizens of the United States today in a mass movement became the largest bank in the world. Strapped with the responsibility of saving huge financial institutions from insolvency and the auto industry as well as a number of other enterprises, the public finally collectively decided to incorporate themselves.

Demanding a return for their hard-earned taxes, the people insisted that the institutions pay an interest rate of 15% Read the full story

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Japan Finally Makes Worse Car Than U.S.


TOKYO, JAPAN- Japanese engineers working for Toyota shocked the world today by announcing that they have at long last created a car worse than any car made in the United States. After a bold promise made by Chief Engineer Fukashi Tokiru in the late nineties to match American ineptitude, Toyota’s engineers finally came through, creating a car that is more terrible than any American counterpart. Read the full story

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