Tag Archive | "Ann Coulter"

Republicans Have Saul-like Epiphany Day After Winning Mid-term Elections


The day after winning a vital mid-term election that would give them a much stronger control of the U.S. Government, the Republican Party has apparently experienced an epiphany on the majesty of that which affected Saul on his Biblical quest to persecute the Jews.

Only in the example of the Republicans it will prevent them from smiting the Democrats. Read the full story

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GOP Has Perfected Bush/Cheney Clone to Take Over 2016 Election


Republican geneticists have succeeded in their long term project to clone George W. Bush and Dick Cheney into a composite entity to enter into the 2016 Presidential elections.

This modern Frankenstein, born in a petrie dish and reared in secret, has been specially educated and trained to be an unswerving right wing pundit.

It has been modified genetically so that it develops to physical maturity in just a few years. The creature will never reached mental maturity, but that is nothing that the Republicans are not used to. Read the full story

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Scoop: Glossy Acquires Titles Of Future Ann Coulter Books


Ann Coulter, that famous extreme right wing author and the wicked witch of the North East That Baum didn’t write so much about in his Oz books is forever coming out with new literary tirades against those who, unlike herself, are not raised in families where you are constantly batted over the head with conservative ideals.

She believes that everyone should be like herself: demeaning, mean spirited, acid blooded, pale and fascist. Her main claim to fortune is the ability to every year or so come out with another book warning the world of how there are liberals around much like bedbugs in your mattress out to suck every drop of blood in your veins until you are a withered, dried up corpse, much like Ms. Coulter herself. Read the full story

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Ann Coulter cuts out Latino’s heart, eats it


Conservative pundit Ann Coulter surprised viewers on Sean Hannity’s Fox News show when she carved into the body of a Latino immigrant and pulled out a heart.

“I swear to God we will eat your hearts out, you Mexican illegals. God is greater!” she said. “Undocumented aliens, we will take their hearts to eat them.”

She then put the heart in her mouth and took a bite. Read the full story

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Ann Coulter Changes Affiliation, Will Now Be Proponent For Human Race


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Ann Coulter’s Torrid Love Email to Radical Christian Murderer Breivik


The ever intrepid Wonki Leaks has scored another scoop with a revealing email sent by the acid blooded extreme American right winger Ann Coulter to the Norwegian mass murderer Anders Breivik.

Hacked from Breivik’s email account by Rupert Murdoch himself, then rehacked from Murdoch by fellow Australian Julian Assange personally, the tidbit became an instant internet smash when released. Read the full story

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Posted in Politics, Strange PeopleComments (1)

Wisconsin Democratic Rep Found Hiding In My Closet


I found a Wisconsin State Democratic Senator hiding in my closet.

Bastard!

I was coming in to see if I could find a pair of socks I hadn’t worn more than one day and, shazaam!, there he was.

He looked as surprised as I myself must have.

But that isn’t what bothered me.

He was eating my Pringles. Read the full story

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Something Unspeakable Happening On the AK Coast


Cordova, Alaska 8:35 AM- There has been an apparent series of attacks on residents in the small Alaska coastal town of Cordova, approximately 100 miles south of Valdez, Alaska. More on this as we get it.

BREAKING NEWS: Cordova, Alaska 8:50 AM- Anchorage radio station AUNK has reported that the local police in Cordova, Alaska have been alerted to a series of attacks on citizens in various parts of the town that may be coordinated. Individuals appear to have been attacked by unknown assailants in numerous attacks. There is rumor that this could a form of terrorist attack. Read the full story

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Mythical Liberal Media Not Doing Its Job


The liberal media has fallen asleep on the job. They are supposed to be the “dominant media” according to certain people. But you sure could never guess it from the last few weeks. Too much has slipped through the grill. Maybe Ann Coulter is right- you just can’t trust them. Read the full story

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, PoliticsComments (0)

Pundit Recycling Program Deemed Success


Posted by your South America correspondents, Maria and Consuela Lopez. We heard somebody named Juan Williams got fired from NPR and wanted to get the real story. Because the excuse that was given, well? Gringos are a little off in the cabeza, but that just didn’t make sense. He said that seeing a bunch of Muslims in traditional outfits on a plane makes him nervous, and he gets fired? Read the full story

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Jesus Declines Dinner Invite from Congresswoman Michele Bachmann


“Sorry, Michele, I’m busy that night,” was the unfortunate reply to Congresswoman, Michele Bachmann’s invitation to dinner to none other than Jesus Christ, her personal Lord and Savior. The woman from Minnesota was crushed.

“Sure, I got definite yeses from Adam, the first man, and George Washington. I even got a definite maybe from Johann Bach, whose music would make a lovely background for the pheasant dinner I’ve got planned,” said Bachmann. “But not having Jesus there, well, I’ve waited all my life for this moment and I definitely feel he’s let me down.” Read the full story

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Yet Another Outbreak of Rabies at FOX News


MINOT, North Dakota (GlossyNews) — The recent outbreak of rabies, the madness inducing disease spread by biting that has infected the major stars of Fox News Station, has spread far beyond the confines of their offices. In a new evolution of the disease it appears that it has the ability to leap over the airwaves and infect its listeners, turning them into politically monotonic drones, much like brainless zombies constantly ranting the same tired phrases over and over. Read the full story

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Posted in Health, TelevisionComments (26)

New Conservative Book: Everything We Know About Politics We Learned In Kindergarten


The Republican Party in conjunction with FOX News is celebrating their collaborative publishing effort, a new book called ‘Everything We Need To Know About Politics We Learned In Kindergarten’. Its publication has started such a buying frenzy among their constituents who can read that it rivals the success had by the coming out of Sarah Palin’s ‘Going Rogue’. The pundits of both groups are partying like it’s 1899. Read the full story

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Virulent Rabies Outbreak At Fox News


A virulent outbreak of rabies was reported today at Fox News Headquarters. The horrible madness inducing disease appears to have spread through the top hosts of the station, then been transmitted to station employees and, strangely, even to their listeners. The initiation of the epidemic seems to have started with Sean Hannity who, in the middle of his show, started foaming at the mouth.

“This was nothing unusual with him.” stated Red Bigneck. Read the full story

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Ann Coulter Jokes – Humor About The Mean Queen


Why does Ann Coulter call security whenever liberals area around her house?
Because her flying monkeys are busy doing other chores for her.

How many liberals can Ann Coulter devour at one sitting?
Only two- she’s cutting down to keep her girlish figure. Read the full story

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TMZ Reveals Michaele Salahi and Ann Coulter Sisters


A junior reporter for the bi-monthly socialite newspaper, Washington Society News, while doing research on the backgrounds of Michaele and Tareq Salahi, has uncovered a most interesting fact, which will run tomorrow on TMZ. Michaele Salahi and syndicated columnist and all-around bad ass, Ann Coulter, may be sisters. Born Michelle Ann Holt, it is believed that Michaele and Ann may share the same mother. Read the full story

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