Pennsylvania Penal System – (SatireWorld.com) Convict number 183996, also known as OJ Simpson, has confided to friends through his letters and censored emails that prison is now a lot more fun!
In an article in Prison Life Magazine, the ex-football player, opens his soul over the daily fun and excitement he finds while sitting in a small cell with four other prisoners.
“Yeah, I get no special treatment, but my buds are way cool,” says OJ.
PHOTO INSERT: Some of the Penn State memorabilia hanging on the cell walls are a classic photo of Sandusky doing something inappropriate with a 14 year old player.
Cellmates include Charles Manson, a hippie mass murderer, aging rocker Gary Glitter who prefers his lovers to be much younger, and now a newcomer, ex-Penn State assistant coach Jerry Sandusky.
“OJ is getting used to it now and talks football with that Sandusky chap,” says Glitter, “We have plenty of fun in here. Checkers, Monopoly, and Go Fish pass the time pretty good! Hell, we even bet when Sandusky will finally ‘drop the soap’ in the shower.
“OJ even squeezes in some time to keep on looking for the guy that murdered Nicole and that what’s-his-name too!” Said a smiling Manson who looked fresh and perky in a tailored green prison smock.
Glitter did complain that other prisoners kept ‘pissing in his hats’ when he wasn’t around and a number of times he neglected to check them before he put them on. An angry Glitter told our reporter, “I hate when those guys do that! Sometimes the pee is in there for like three days before I select that particular hat!”
Manson mentioned that there were some funny moments like when they stuck a sign on OJ’s back while in the chow hall line that said…’Please, call me A Big-Fat-Idiot.’
“Yeah, that caused quite a stir in the chow line!” Chimed a toothless Manson.
When asked if he is going to set up another hippie commune when he gets out, Manson promised he wasn’t going to do that any longer, but hinted that Sandusky kinda giggled when I called him ‘Squeaky’.
Sandusky says the transition is difficult, mainly because of the shortage of places to hang his football memorabilia, but he loves beating the guys at Scrabble…”They’re not that bright!”
Poor taste? Who said to eat ’em?
Poor taste. There were countless victims. Not cool.
bargis – since I’m from PA I’m not allowed to write this type of stuff yet. By the way, you made is sound so cozy for the four of them, glad I’m not there.