New Brunswick, NJ – Smiling, and without a care in the world, FLOTUS showed up at Rutgers University today to unveil a brand new academic program she is credited with creating, in conjunction with the Board of Regents, that should be a hit with the rich kids on campus: Professional Vacationer.
RIGHT: Remedial classes taught by professors Kerry and Gingrich. (CLICK TO ENLARGE.) Image appears courtesy of Steve Ryan at ElectricUnderpants.com.
Part of the Bachelor of Liberal Arts program, where many other useless degrees reside, the curriculum was hand-picked by Mrs. Obama and based on her unparalleled record of vacationing around the world at others’ expense.
Classes making up the core curriculum of the degree plan include: ‘How to Stay in London on $5000 a Night’, ‘Proper Etiquette for Booking Two Floors of a Hotel at Once’, ‘Traveling with Your Own Security Force’, ‘Low-Tipping Your Staff’, and ‘Flagrantly Spending Taxpayer’s Money 101.’
More advanced courses offered at the junior and senior levels include ‘Don’t Pack! You Can Buy Everything You Need on Your Trip’, ‘Blocking Guilt Stemming From Getting Everything for Free’ and ‘How to Lecture Others About Cutting Back While You Live the Good Life.’
Students will write their thesis on the best ways to marry a high-ranking politician to gain access to unlimited taxpayer funds.
“Vacationing is a wonderful way to spend your life,” the First Lady remarked. “I’m shocked more people don’t do it! Doesn’t everybody have tons of disposable income or other people who would foot the bill for everything?”
When asked by a reporter if, as a matter of principle, she should pay the taxpayers back for some of the extravagant lifestyle choices she has made, the First Lady laughed and said, “Next question!”
Tom Kinney, you should write that article. 🙂
Awesome Tom! I love the Cheney gun safety class idea. Wish I'd thought of it.
> And, Brian, E. did say everyone is fair game, not just those in the public eye or private sector.
There’s a legal distinction. If you want to start writing satire about your neighbor, he can sue you into oblivion if he’s not a “public figure”. I ran into this with an article I wrote about a local judge who had been caught in a scandal. Though he was a judge and published author, my sister (who is an attorney, but wasn’t representing me,) advised strongly that I NOT publish about the disgraced Stephen Conroy.
> All presidents and/or first ladies have had their own ‘incidents’ that have been used as punch lines to jokes told at the water cooler. Why should this one be any different?
It shouldn’t. It isn’t. That’s why I published the story, silly.
> If you took offense to this, you really need to borrow some of the Obama’s vacationing funds and get away.
Is… is that an option? If that’s an option, I’m IN!
It’s all good, guys!
Sign me up for the Dick Cheney class. I also heard that there will be a gun safety class taught by Cheney and Bob Knight.
Freedom of speech is a wonderful thing. People taking offense to it makes it even more wonderful. People saying they avoid it and interject an opinion anyway, well, you get the picture (If they are truly avoiding it, how were they able to comment on it?).
And, Brian, E. did say everyone is fair game, not just those in the public eye or private sector. Too much effort is put in to making something like this an attack on instead of taking it for what it is, humor. All presidents and/or first ladies have had their own ‘incidents’ that have been used as punch lines to jokes told at the water cooler. Why should this one be any different?
deeptrout, a writer’s main objective is to get people to read, react, and talk about it. If people laugh, that is a bonus, admittedly welcome in the world of satire. A true writer doesn’t try and write something that everyone is going to like or that everyone will laugh at. A true writer’s keyboard would go untouched if that were the case.
If you took offense to this, you really need to borrow some of the Obama’s vacationing funds and get away.
On a side note, I find it rather odd that we say “politically correct” when politicians are among the most incorrect people out there. Would that be a point of satirical irony?
Obviously the Obamas missed the memo that said that once he was elected he and his family are not allowed to take vacations as other Presidents have had in the past. Back to the back of the bus, Barack!
No, E., you got us all wrong. Every public figure is fair game. I’m not defending Mrs. Obama. I’m saying her expenditures are no different than what we’ve seen from past first families, nor what the Romneys might have done, nor what any future first family will do.
And more than that, it’s the tiniest sliver of the economy. Everyone deserves a vacation. Anywhere the head of a nation goes, there’s going to be security and logistics costs associated.
I’m not annoyed or upset by the article. I thought it was funny. I published it. I’m just saying I can object to the meat of the potatoes without being in love with the first lady.
This is why I avoid political satire. Most of it is highly partisan, isn’t funny and those who think it is are a small slice of the audience.
Someone who can do political and make both sides laugh is the real writer and comedian.
I just take issue with the idea that Michelle Obama is somehow off limits or something. Sorry, but everybody is fair game in the world of satire. If anybody thinks a story now about Bush taking lots of vacations is funny, go for it.
Bush was from Texas. Though the ranch was more of a political prop, he still called it home. Barack spent a lot of time growing up in Hawaii. Not all of it but a hell of a lot more than Bush spent in Crawford.
Better question is what we’d have spent on Romney’s vacations, and for that matter, what he’d have done to cost the economy and especially the budget. I argue it would not have been quite as good. It might have been close, but I still think this is better.
As I remember Bush set the Presidential record for vacationing, it doesn’t matter where.
If you ever hear of the Obama’s vacationing in a podunk Texas town, let me know. It hasn’t happened yet.
Funny, I don’t remember anyone attacking Mrs. Bush when she was the First Lady.
I do remember Mr. Bush taking a lot of vacations though.