ANN ARBOR, Michigan (GlossyNews) — The hare lip on 50 year old Mavis Blakely’s face was very large and the sight of it scared many eligible suitors away from her in her lifetime. Many thought it prevented her from living an otherwise normal life. But Mavis claims it has helped greatly in other ways…
“Through the years I’ve saved over 300 innocent lives by preventing very drunk guys from driving home after the bars close,” claims Mavis. Her gestures with a lit cigarette left trails of smoke rings around her red hair, as her eyes flitted around the dim bar.
True to the very often used and exaggerated claim that, everything looks good at 3 AM, Mavis can attest that many guys who otherwise might not want to be seen with her in the early evening, will leave the bar with her at closing time.
“I’m known around these parts as the any port in a storm kind of gal.” Claims Mavis.
She pointed out toward several hunky and good looking young college men who stayed away from her side of the bar all night long, but she knew as soon as 3 AM came around she’d go through a metamorphous in the men’s minds and become as sexy as actress Megan Fox.
Mavis threw back her head, looked at her watch, and chuckled as she gulped a cold Budweiser, “Yup, hormones and beer. Allowing ugly women to have sex since 5,000 BC! Plain and simple.”