Catholic Institutions Should NOT be Required to Pay for Birth Control

Thanks to the likes of Sandra Fluke, this debate has reared the back of it’s ugly front-side in the political arena once again.

Many argue that it’s unfair to pay taxes to support birth control measures they don’t personally support, and they’re totally right, but why stop there?

Liberals have been against the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan since the very beginning, so they should be allowed to opt out of taxation to pay for those war expenditures past and present.

RIGHT: Some of the many contraceptive options one is not free to choose from, should they find that their only option for employment happens to be a Catholic institution. (CLICK PHOTO TO ENLARGE)

Sure, birth control is only pennies a year, and it actually causes a long-term reduction in taxation since young, unwed mothers don’t end up on welfare, but even that bonus to the tax structure should be paid for by the Catholics. They should be allowed to pay extra to oppose birth control.

But by the same side of the very same token, democrats should be allowed to opt-out of the tens of thousands of dollars per capita invested in the unprovoked wars abroad.

The war has cost an estimated $12,000 to every man, woman, retired person and itty-bitty baby in the United States of America… Democrats should be allowed to opt-out of that obligation.

Iraq didn’t provoke us, we had no business being there, and there was no funding put in place to pay for this war, so democrats should allow the burden to be carried by their blood-thirsty brothers in the red states.

And while we’re at it, animal rights activists should not be taxed to pay for the Department of Fish and Game. Those guys endorse, condone and literally issue permits for the wholesale slaughter of salmon, trout, deer, elk and more. Those guys are culpable in a mass murder scheme. Surely you can’t expect for a dues-paying PETA member to pony up for that tab.

And why do Jehovah’s Witnesses have to give their employees a day off for Martin Luther King’s birthday? They don’t even celebrate their own birthdays. Surely this should be subsidized by the federal government.

And why do skinny people pay the same amount at the all-you-can-eat-and-steal buffet as fat people. Surely there should be a per-pound cost, rather than assuming all people eat an equal amount.

And how come prostitutes charge me the same amount even though my penis is much smaller than her average John, and all I’m going to do is cry about how much my mother never loved me. Why is that?

I think it’s time we let the Catholics opt out of paying for birth control on their plans every bit as much as I advocate fairness in all these other things… some of them are less crazy than others, I will admit, but they all deserve equal time when cloud-friend Jesus is in the picture.

It’s what Jesus would have wanted*.

* If he was real or ever existed, which he isn’t and didn’t. Don’t let your Bedouin folklore fool you, that desert mythology is just new-age Egyptian legend wrapped in a handsome, hippy packaging.