Brazil to Place 42-foot Mitre Atop Christ the Redeemer Statue

RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil (Glossy News) – News of the new Christ the King statue being erected in Swiebodzin, Poland that will be the tallest Christ statue in the world has Brazilians a bit ticked off. Brazil’s Christ the Redeemer statue in Rio de Janeiro has been regarded as one of the two tallest and most spectacular Christ statues in the world until now (Cristo de la Concordia statue in Bolivia is a tad taller). In fact, Christ the Redeemer is listed as one of the New Seven Wonders of the World.

What to do? What to do? Brazil legislators as well as Catholic Church leaders have been meeting and have decided that the only way to save Brazil’s statue from being removed from the Seven Wonders List is to modify the Christ the Redeemer statue to make it taller than the one built in Poland. While a crown of thorns had been considered as the most acceptable form of headwear for the statue, making it 42 feet high would make it seem disproportionately large when compared to the rest of the body.

The solution is to place a 42-foot tall gold-plated Mitre (pope’s hat) atop the statue. Said one church leader “If the Polish people can place a gold crown atop the good Lord’s head, then why not a gold mitre?” In a country that is approximately 75% Catholic, it makes perfect sense.

Just as the statue itself was primarily paid for by donations from churchgoers, the legislators are asking again for help in paying for the golden Mitre which is expected to cost upwards of $R65 million reais (roughly $38 million U.S. dollars and change). Casting of the crown is expected to begin in early December.

Upon hearing of the changes Brazil is making to their statue, town leaders in Swiebodzin are said to already be planning yet other changes to the Christ the King statue by possibly adding a halo above the crown, which would effectively make the statue another 30 feet taller.

Said one Polish leader, “All we can say to our Brazilian brethren is ‘bring it on.’ We are prepared to build onto our statue until it reaches all the way to the heavens if necessary to hold onto the ‘tallest Christ statue in the world’ title.”

Author: P. Beckert

P. Beckert's is one voice vying for frequency room at the top of the opinion dial. Angered and bewildered by many of today’s events, P. Beckert uses humor as a tool to fight against an onslaught of stupidity and ignorance that seems to permeate the airwaves and pollute the sensitivities of a once brilliant nation. You can find more at ISaidLaughDammit.blogspot.com.

5 thoughts on “Brazil to Place 42-foot Mitre Atop Christ the Redeemer Statue

  1. Hats worn not by one’s own choosing don’t count Mr. White. And besides? ‘Funny’ hats in the Easter season are a long standing tradition.

    Gotta get back to reporting on the developing crisis on Capitol Hill now…

  2. As I readed this well written story which is sure to get somebody torqued to about 129 ft. lbs. I was thinking of “The Bishop’s Wife” with Cary Grant, David Niven & Loretta Young.

    Message to me from that film is that many times people run around building towering structures in the name of Christ, when Jesus was OK being born in a stable. Jesus just wants His teachings to live in hearts; everything else is secondary.

    And Beckert? It’s well documented Jesus NEVER wore funny hats! Except at birthday parties maybe…

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