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Preschool Student Exchange Program Hits Snag

Preschool Student Exchange Program Hits Snag

The plan was far from revolutionary. Just take a program that works for older students and bump it down for use on younger students. That was the plan for ToddlerX, a Sacramento-based program, but two years on, parents are feeling the pain.

“Well it sounded like a good idea,” said Jacob Johanson, a human resouce developer. “But when we shipped off our kid [who was barely 3 at the time] we didn’t realize what we’d get back.”

What he got back was a child nearly fluent in Russian gibberish, though all of his English had been lost, and he didn’t even recognize us as his parents.

“He didn’t even recognize us when he came back. Hell, we barely recognized him,” said Johanson, whose wife had died of colon cancer in the intervening year.

“This was too long of an exchange, I mean, seriously, he was only a toddler… this was just [a] stupid idea,” said Johanson, apparently willing to blast young Anatoly, whom he’d taken into his home for the previous twelve months, and who had learned significant amounts of English, which he can use in his future.

Some parents are now thinking the toddler-exchange program is without merit, but experts agree that they are mentally retarded if they think that. And this is in no way affected by our recent, substantial advertisement buy from the International Toddler Exchange Program Inc., LLC, who paid for more than 6-months of our publication. It’s mere coincidence. They’re just also, coincidentally, that great.


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Brian first began peddling his humorous wares with a series of Xerox printed books in fifth grade. Since then he's published over two thousand satire and humor articles, as well as eight stage plays, a 13-episode cable sitcom and three (terrible) screenplays. He is a freelance writer by trade and an expert in the field of viral entertainment marketing. He is the author of many of the biggest hoaxes of recent years, a shameful accomplishment in which he takes exceptional pride.


One Response to “Preschool Student Exchange Program Hits Snag”

  1. Melissa says:

    Brian, I love it when you write about young people the best… it is always so creative, happy and delightful.


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