Losers Claim Win-Win Just a Ploy

Losers around the world are waking up today to the sad realization that regardless of what they’ve been told in school and the workplace, the win-win scenario just doesn’t exist. “It’s a ploy,” said Winton Gardensalad from Montauk, NY. “I played along for most of my life and look where it’s gotten me,” he said from the sad little 8 x 10 room he calls home at the Happy-go-Lucky Retirement Center.

Gardensalad and millions like him say they would love to blow the cover of the win-win folks, but they simply don’t have a clue as to who they might be. More importantly, most losers say they just don’t have the gumption. “Oh, I tried to grab life by the balls many a time,” he said, “but I got bit in the ass too many times and finally just said the hell with it.”

Many others are telling similar stories. “Oh yeah, I hear opportunity knocking all right,” said Mary Dimpleknickers, “but befefore I can even get the door all the way open, it slams shut in my face. Win-win just doesn’t exist.”

Dimpleknickers says she even dished out a bunch of money to attend a leadership conference. “Things were going well until someone said to me ‘positive and negative are directions. Which direction do you choose?’ I chose down.”

Said Gardensalad, “When you experience your first win-lose situation, you may as well resign yourself to the fact that lose-lose is just around the corner.”