Cheney Chases “Party of the Past” Out of His Closet

[UNDSCL’D] DELAWARE, WY – He may be the wise-ass who shoots his friend in the face; true, but he’s OUR friend-face-shooting wise-ass…

If you turn 180° from that public persona, you get this touching story about his childhood that he told at a campaign stop in 2004. A questioner asked him about any special parental memories he might have kept from his early youth.

“…one day while walking down Main Street,” he began, “I saw a dress, a red dress in a store window. And I knew [my granny] could make me one like it. So I asked her to, and, indeed, she did. It was the most amazing dress. It was made with lots of red crinoline — the net-like fabric that is really stiff. And it had about a million yards of ruffles on it, so when you tried to let your hands hang down by your sides, you really couldn’t—and it was strapless.”

Giggling and blushing a little, he continued “this was the 1950s, remember. It was strapless and it was quite a dress. And I wore that dress the very first time I was asked out on a date. I credit that dress for my second date.” [AUDIENCE APPLAUSE]

Raising his voice over the applause, he continued “I now officially have an opponent. And there are people saying John Edwards got the job because he’s charming, sexy, good looking, has great hair.
“Well, I’m vice president and he’s still not. How do you think I got the job? Remember, that was a very impressive red dress. [CRUSHING APPLAUSE]
“It’s nice to know that you’re still loved and are invited out in public sometimes.” [THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE]

You can imagine his great, hidden delight when it was revealed by Harry Potter’s writer, J.K. Rowling, that Albus Dumbledore was gay. Dick Cheney had secretly total grins when he read that Albus Dumbledore is an anagram of ‘Male bods rule, bud!’

During the 2004 campaign, Cheney is quoted several times saying this or a similar comment about gay partnerships:

“We live in a free society, and freedom means freedom for everybody. We shouldn’t be able to choose and say you get to live free and you don’t. That means people should be free to enter into any kind of relationship they want to enter into. It’s no one’s business in terms of regulating behavior in that regard. We ought to do everything we can to tolerate and accommodate whatever kind of relationships people want to enter into.”

He has also stated:

“The next step then, of course, is the question you ask of whether or not there ought to be some kind of official sanction of the relationships or if they should be treated the same as a traditional marriage.”

When asked why he is doing this now, he says “this is about fundamental beliefs and values and ideas…our commitment to the Constitution and Constitutional principles. The fact of the matter is we live in a free society, and freedom means freedom for everybody.”

Clues that Cheney may be gay:

If this isn’t gay, then what is? His advice: “Differences of behavior are nothing if our aims are identical and our hearts are open to love.”

Name. Dick. Say no more.

Fashion. Cheney defies the fashion standards of normative masculinity…a flair like no other.’You cannot deny he’s got style. Tan pants with a dark blue blazer, no tie. Not to mention that cowboy hat.

Sensitivity. He has been quoted as saying, “It’s tougher to be vulnerable, to express your feelings. Express the undying love for my close friends.”

History’s parallel. Dick’s a genius! Best in the world! Yes he’s mad, but he’s considered warm, loving and incredibly calm. He has isolated himself and spent a lot of time with his journals. And, of course, many scholars believe that the great Leonardo da Vinci was gay.

Queen Elizabeth Scrapbook. Dick’s kept a secret, updated, analytically detailed scrapbook of the Queen since the day she was crowned in the ’50s. He has all the photos ever made for the public and personally clips each of the news columns he pastes into the book. He also has the complete coronation outfit, dress, shoes, gloves, jewelry, cape and crown with scepter that the Queen wore – all sized to fit. Valued at $275,000…the crown jewels are paste. See above for photo of the 2008 Annual QE-2 Fan Club Meeting. Cheney is the sole member.

A GOP strategist, who spoke on condition of anonymity, pointed out the conundrum for Republicans over the former vice president’s revelation. “Even if he is gay, we want him off the front burner. This can only be more difficult for us.

“He’s entitled to make his case,” the strategist continued, “but his continued presence is like a thumb in the eye to us neocons. He says that the GOP needs new ideas and new leadership, but we all know that the Republican Party needs to remain the party of the past. We will always be the party of the past. We’re locked in for keeps.”
Cheney doesn’t want that party to leave “…the little guy hanging out to dry” as he puts it. He is determined to defend his people now. “I don’t know whether anybody else will, but I sure as hell will. My daughter will be proud of me.”

He says he is “…attempting to fill the gay vacuum within the Republican Party at a time when there are few other leaders who can command such attention. After all, Arlen Specter has already fled to the other side. We’ve had gay-outed senators and governors dropping away like flies this year.”

Condi Rice, in her own unpublicized outing at the Baldwin piano shop in Van Nuys, echoed the same theme. “My view is, we’ve got to do it our way now,” she said. “We tried to do our best before, now we must do it for real.”

Cheney doesn’t think his outspoken gayness will have long-term implications for the GOP. He says “I remember when the whole Republican Party was on its back. You have to get off your back and stand on your principles. It was a policy thing then, and I cannot deny that the debate is engaged and I am engaged on principle.”

President Obama smiled when asked, but he declined to speak of Cheney’s comments and actions.