Washington – When President Barack Obama arrives in Havana for a state visit next month, he will personally apologize to late Cuban Premier Fidel Castro for decades of American interference with Cuba’s efforts to destabilize the Southern Hemisphere.
Appearing on ABC’s new Sunday talk show, “Next Week,” which immediately follows “This Week,” which is preceded by “Last Week,” White House Advisor Valerie Jarrett told host Jesse Jackson that Cuba was the first stop on the President’s new World Apology Tour.
“He’ll match words with actions,” Jarrett said, revealing that Obama will give Guantanamo Bay back to Cuba as soon as the man-made disaster suspects held there are transferred to more comfortable facilities in the U. S.
“This is strictly a humanitarian gesture,” said Jarrett. “Cuba’s prison population is exploding. Premier Castro has assured us through his medium that Guantanamo’s prison camp would be used to house political prisoners who would otherwise be shot because there is no room in Cuban dungeons.”
In another sign of a thaw in Cuban-American relations, President Obama offered blanket amnesty and U. S. citizenship to Cuban Security Service provocateurs, assassins, and double agents who have emerged from the shadows after operating in America for decades.
“It has been hard for us,” said Francisco Arrera, the Cuban Security Service’s top spy in Florida since 1987. “Many of my people arrived here in 1980 posing as refugees–‘Marielitos.’ We’ve been living in fear ever since, running from safe house to safe house, one step ahead of the FBI. Now we can do our jobs without looking over our shoulders.”
Attorney General Eric Holder said the Justice Department would waive the Oath of Citizenship for Cuban nationals who did not want to attend the ceremony and risk their cover.