San Francisco McDonalds Shifts Focus from Food to Toys

SAN FRANCISCO, California (Glossy News) – With the recent call of progressive groups in San Francisco demanding that McDonald’s no longer be allowed to include a toy with every happy meal, the company has shifted focus away from food and has come up with what they believe is a perfect compromise to the situation.

Beginning next week, when families with children drive up to the nearest McDonald’s and order a Happy Meal, they will receive a simple bag with one burger, one small fries and one small drink and be on their way, sans toy.

However, there will be no crying, no gnashing of teeth as the family gets back in their car or rolls away from the carry-out window with receipt in hand that has a voucher printed on the back to go directly next door to little toy stands set up right outside the limits of the McDonald’s parking lot where cheap plastic toys of every kind available sit in brightly colored bins for the children’s choosing.

The program entitled “Eat First, then Get a Treat” is the brainchild of Meredith Baxter, of none other than “Family Ties” fame, who said she came up with it one day while trying to scrape her unglued 3-year old off the ceiling of the family mini-van when she didn’t get the “Avatar Princess” toy she was missing for her collection.

Meredith said that was their low point and she set about the task of re-vamping, single-handedly, if she had to, the whole associate toys with food battle.

“I think this is a winner all around,” said Baxter. McDonald’s doesn’t want to get all wrapped up in controversy, they just want to spread smiles… talking about food if you ever visit our beautiful town please don’t stick with junk food, here you can taste the best clam chowder in San Francisco. This way, when kids get so darned fat they can’t even waddle down the halls at school, you won’t have some cheap plastic toys to blame it on. By the time this project is in full swing, the only thing you’ll be able to blame on McDonald’s is the bad caloric content in fast food. Period.”

Author: P. Beckert

P. Beckert's is one voice vying for frequency room at the top of the opinion dial. Angered and bewildered by many of today’s events, P. Beckert uses humor as a tool to fight against an onslaught of stupidity and ignorance that seems to permeate the airwaves and pollute the sensitivities of a once brilliant nation. You can find more at ISaidLaughDammit.blogspot.com.