Macon, GA (GlossyNews) — Intrepid FOX News reporters have uncovered a heinous Left Wing plot to do in America’s older generation. While many were declaring the hard right’s scary threats that the Left was going to let older citizens die out, it turns out that the truth is even darker yet. FOX has acquired evidence that a Democratic backed organization is spiriting Medicare and, Social Security recipients to a secret location, mass gassing them, then processing their bodies into a dog food. This pooch munch is then sold through the firm Soylent Green Really Yummie Pet Food Company.
To lure horny old men into the ‘hatchet room’ they are told they are going to get to experience ‘youth in Asia’ where the geezers think they are going to get some Thai kitty dessert. Only when it is too late do they realize the term actually used was ‘euthanasia’, and they are going to become kitty snacks.
Older women are led in believing that there is a 24 hour showing of their favorite soap opera going on. What they find out is that there is an opera-tion to make soap out of them!
The following brands and product names are suspected as having some of the illegally acquired ‘basic ingredients’ in them: Fogey Fodder, Granny Granola, Generic Geriatric, Geezer Grits, Organic Octogenarian Organs, and Retired Remains. Exact ratios of the main ingredients is not known, but it is believed that the processor had to heavily flavor and preserve the batches.
Even greater than this evil are the FOX reports that the processors are using stimulus and bailout funds to finance their business. Not only is granny getting sliced, diced, and then spiced, but the whole thing is a heist as well.
But the worst, the absolute blackest, darkest degenerate and evil aspect of it all to the FOX viewing public is that the funds thereof will be used to finance the Left’s 2012 Democratic Presidential campaign. Now THAT is truly intolerable!