Viagra Concession Ends Transit Strike

Philadelphia, PA – Transit workers in Philadelphia, threatening to continue their strike for a raise in more than their salaries, have won a battle with the Southern Pennsylvania Transportation Authority to have most of their health care costs covered, including full-month prescriptions for Viagra and similar prescription medicines to treat erectile dysfunction (ED).

The leader of the transit workers, Jeff Laccid, explained it like this “look, if the train ain’t got enough power, how’s it gonna make in and out of the tunnel, ya know?” He continued, “Not that there’s anything wrong with me, but I got guys coming to me saying that they can blow through the ten-pill-a-month allowance in a long weekend. They’re telling me this is hard on their wives and girlfriends. The number of transit workers threatening to beat it if they don’t get their pills has swelled since the insurance plan took its hard stance.

The official healthcare provider for the transit authority, Dr. Ed Wiener, says that this was a perfect storm waiting to happen due to:

* More and more transit workers coming up on retirement age or crossing into retirement.
*Salaries and retirement accounts taking a huge financial hit, creating a load of stress.
*Most of the older workers taking other prescription drugs for diabetes and high blood pressure that affect their male performance.

“What this amounts to is a bulging population of men who have come to depend on that little blue pill, and who were initially told to make do with what they had. Some claimed it just wasn’t enough.”

The Transit Authority, though, wasn’t buying it. There are a few younger guys out there who were taking advantage of the program by forging prescriptions for the little blue pill–affectionately known in transit circles as the “pocket train,”–and then turning around and selling it at a much higher price to their senior co-workers who were too embarrassed to discuss their condition with their own doctors. “Let’s just say that there was more than bus passes and train tickets being sold out of the terminals,” said one insurance company spokesperson.

What does this newest concession say about the success of union negotiators in the public transit system? I’ll tell you,” said Laccid, “all that dickering back and forth paid off in a huge way. It’s not like we want to stick it to anyone, we just want a bigger package for our guys.”

Author: P. Beckert

P. Beckert's is one voice vying for frequency room at the top of the opinion dial. Angered and bewildered by many of today’s events, P. Beckert uses humor as a tool to fight against an onslaught of stupidity and ignorance that seems to permeate the airwaves and pollute the sensitivities of a once brilliant nation. You can find more at ISaidLaughDammit.blogspot.com.

2 thoughts on “Viagra Concession Ends Transit Strike

  1. Aahhh, Ms Beckert a fitting piece on our beloved SEPTA (South Eastern Pennsylvania Transportation Authority). Thank you for providing the answer to my perpetual question “Why does it take so long for the Broad Street Line to get out of the hole at the Fern Rock Terminus?” Have you personally suffered a lack of satisfaction in my beloved City of Ennui? If so, have you tried the Market-Frankford Street Line?… it is elevated!.

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