Categorized | Education

‘Dr’ David Duke Crashes & Burns: Israeli Literature Conference

‘Dr’ David Duke Crashes & Burns: Israeli Literature Conference

Semantic grand wizard, uh sorry, semantic wizard and notorious antisemite David Duke is known primarily as a peddler of hate. Past comments on ‘Jew York City,’ ‘the unacceptably unaccountable Jew York Times Journalistic-Industrial-Complex,’ and ‘SSSSSSuspiciously-SSSSSScribed Jew Hampshire polling cards’ have made clear he is a hate preacher. But more recently, he has tried to shed this unfortunate stigma by presenting himself as an intellectual.

At the recent achingly fashionable and cutting-edge ‘Nobodaddy’s Nouveau Directions in William Blakery’ Conference in Jerusalem, Duke hyper-theoreticized as follows:

Hey everybody. You can see I’m not boycotting your university; so I am obviously totally NOT like all those other guys. Right?!

 Oo! ‘All those other guys!’ Sounded kinda creepy, huh? It’s sort of vague and equivocal and indeterminate isn’t it?

 In fact, not unlike William Blake himself. I kinda have a lot of common with this guy.

Amid a gathering storm of cagey-professorial heckling, Duke pronounced:

Blake’s initially rather logocentric construct of the ‘New Jerusalem’ can be rhetorically deconstructed as ‘The Jew Jerusalem.’ That means a non-anti-Anglo-whitey-racist and non-hegemonic Jerusalem where people like me, who are not in the least anti-Semitic in any way WHATSOEVER (ha!) can flourish and thrive and prosper.

 Psst! By the way! Everybody in America hates me, I have no idea why. And they have they cheek to call me a ‘hate preacher?!’ TOTALLY controlled media double standards! So, is there any chance that you can, y’know, grant me asylum or something? I mean, the stupid jerk-off Jewish media really have been giving me a hard time recently.

 Oh, uhhh… CRAP! What did I just say? Uh, I meant the, the, I dunno, the evil capitalist Franco-Irish media, or, er, um…

 David Duke did not succeed in his malevolent plan to infiltrate Israel. However, on the plus side, some vaguely supportive-ish deconstructionists begged his critics not to ‘perform a one-sidedly essentialist critical reading’ of his hateful conference presentation.

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- who has written 313 posts on GlossyNews.com.

Conspirator-in-Chief of the Peace Criminals Project: Neocon Surveillance& Satirical-Industrial Complex! Also published on a range of satire sites. Currently co-editing Glossy News (under the webmaster, Brian K. White). Contact me to pitch or submit your satire! David Cameron says I am a #TerroristSympathizer. Islamists say I am an #Islamophobe. New Atheists think I am a #CravenApologistForPrimitiveBronzeAgeSuperstitions. MRAs & Alt-Right think I'm a #MatriarchalCuck. Others say I'm a #StraightMiddleClassWhiteBoy. And still more think I'm a #FuckingPleb. Just another edgy day at the Satirist's office! I am the Mayor of the Zero Fucks Community ;) @w_runnymede (Twitter) wallacerunnymede@gmail.com

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