Weather (man) Beaten

A weatherman has been beaten and is recovering in hospital after an attack outside news offices.

The attack happened at about 8pm local time when a middle-aged woman ran up to local weatherman Ryan Storm and shouted “sunshine” while throwing a bucket of ice-cold water over his head.

The attacker, who is said to be about 5ft 5ins and 130 pounds, then shouted “clear and bright” as she took out a battery powered hairdryer and blasted Storm in the face.

Ryan Storm suffered light burns to the face and a sniffle from the cold water but is said to be in a stable condition although badly shaken by the event, his family and friends have thanked everyone for their concern and well wishes.

Police statement is asking people to be on the look out for a lady wearing blue jeans, snow boots, sun hat, sunglasses, green winter jacket and carrying an umbrella and sun cream. They are appealing for any witnesses to come forward.

They believe the attack may have been motivated by the weatherman’s run of 27 wrong forecasts in concession.


6 comments on “Weather (man) Beaten

  1. I’m still waiting for the day when the weather report is even close to as good as “go look out the window”… it rarely is. 30% chance of snow while there’s an inch on the ground and more falling? Clear and sunny while it’s pouring down rain? High of 89 while it’s already 94? Yeah, I’d kick his ass if I believed him.

  2. What’s really sad is that the weather app on my phone, supposedly updated in “real-time,” isn’t even close to accurate either. I blame Dick Cheney’s weather machine.

  3. Weather guys are never right. That’s why they put them last in the news hour and don’t pay them like a real talking head, even though they have a science degree.

  4. (They believe the attack may have been motivated by the weatherman’s run of 27 wrong forecasts in concession).

    Bee: That’s “succession”…”concession’ is the speech he gives when he resigns. “Concussion” is what he got from that blow to the head. “Recession” is what got him into being a weatherman rather than a meteorological researcher.

    Blake14: As for weathermen with science degrees, sportscasters have degrees too, you know. And they can’t predict the score of a college game to save ’em.

  5. Two corrections in the space of a week! Thank you so much, how embarrassing.

    I shall endeavour to triple check from now on.

    Many thanks Kilroy.

  6. Not that I’m a nun with a ruler or anything, but future readers shall never see it now. But you’ve got to expect a couple of errors to sneak through when you write a gazillion words a week, right.

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