Nuevo Laredo, Mexico – GlossyNews.com – The Nuevo Laredo Tourist Department (NLTD) has announced its newest tourist attraction, the Narco-Terrorism Tour for Gringos, which is to be launched August 10 from Nuevo Laredo, Mexico.
“This exciting adventure will appeal to many rich gringos, we think,” enthuses Alberto X. Rodriguez, deputy chief of the NLTD. “For just ten thousand American dollars you can visit Mexico’s border regions and towns where even la policia won’t go. And we’re sure Americans will be safe the whole time and not be shot or kidnapped.”
Participants will be loaded onto armour-plated buses with bulletproof windows and blowout-resistant tires and taken on a 500 mile journey of discovery along the Mexican border through a region where over 817 Mexican civilians have been shot just during the last month.
Several of the towns are virtual ghost towns and a couple of the others even lack sheriffs since most have long since vamoosed to the U.S. or been riddled with bullets by warring gangs.
“Nobody comes down here anymore,” says Rodriguez, “so this is our idea to bring more tourists. There’s a great chance to see history in the making. Some towns even have active gang wars going on and monuments and cemeteries worth seeing.
“All Americanos will stay at good hotels, not four-star maybe but not too many roaches either, ha ha. In the hotel at night you get free roasted goat meat sandwiches and tequila in the bar, and one free trip to the barmaid for the guys, ha ha.”
But there are even more perks. According to Rodriguez, all participants will receive free use of bulletproof vests during the tour and will be accompanied by knowledgeable tour guides armed with automatic weapons.
“We don’t think many old ladies, senoras, will come on this tour,” says Rodriguez. “Our target market is rich young male gringos. We think we will get everybody through in one piece and they all will have a good time. So tell your readers, Hey, come visit Mexico, see what all the news coverage is about. Maybe be in the news yourself.”