Curiosity Fails to Kill Cat: Car Succeeds

ANDERSON – Though it had spent much of its day eying up a nest of birds in a nearby oak tree, local cat Millie avoided being killed by the concept of curiosity today – instead meeting her demise under the hind wheel of a Pontiac Sunfire.

Embarking on an exciting adventure on what was a fine January morning, the 9-year-old – seemingly oblivious to the power of man’s four-wheel creation – was seen ambling along a local street at around 3pm Wednesday – about 4 minutes before the car, not curiosity, flattened it like a pancake.

“It was just horrible,” said Anderson resident Nancy Parker. “One minute I was looking out at this cat, who was just minding its own business, when this maroon vehicle came dashing around the corner. The poor thing didn’t even see it coming.”

The cat, who for much of its life had heard of the dangers of curiosity, is survived by four siblings who will likely all die of natural causes, not curiosity, in the next 10 years.

Author: Laurence Brown

Laurence Brown is an award-winning comedic journalist based in Indianapolis, Indiana, who has edited several satirical news papers since 1999. Hailing from the United Kingdom, he has also written plays and short stories. He has a bachelor's degree in English and Creative Writing from Lancaster University. This article was originally published by The Indy Tribune.

1 thought on “Curiosity Fails to Kill Cat: Car Succeeds

  1. It’s funny because it’s sad. Come on, cats are dumb, if they die, it’s not so huge a tragedy. Come at me bro!

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