State Sues for Intellectual Infringement in One Mississippi, Two Mississippi…

Jackson, MS- GlossyNews.com -Governor Haley Barbour of Mississippi announced today that the State of Mississippi now claims all rights to the use of “Mississippi” between any number while counting out loud.

In today’s press conference, the four-term governor said that the new copyright is not limited to “One Mississippi, Two Mississippi,” and so forth, but will include all integers as well as fractions.

“Legally speaking, U.S. citizens are no longer allowed to use the state name in any form of audible counting without explicit permission from the state or paying for the rights,” Gov. Barbour told reporters, “However, we are granting permission to any state citizen who can actually spell Mississippi correctly, and no, ‘crooked letter, crooked letter,’ does not count as a legitimate spelling.”

State Republicans praised the Governor for this bold new attempt to raise state revenue and literacy rates—which remain neck and neck with Alabama as the lowest in the country—while the Democrats claim that Gov. Barbour’s misguided approach “only makes us appear to be dumber than we already are.”

Author: Ashley Watson

Ashley Watson is a professional writer and amateur stand-up comedian. In her spare time, she enjoys being stalked on Facebook, playing the role of scapegoat for friends who can't seem to see the value in hiring a decent therapist, and finally, pretending that there's someone out there for her, just waiting for that perfect moment to dispel all the myths about how shitty it is to be dating in your mid-thirties.