Posted in Society

Sarah Palin Wants to Lead the NAACP

   Published Date: March 3, 2010

Baltimore, MD (GlossyNews) — The Membership Council of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) announced this morning that they were reviewing an application for membership from Sarah Louise Palin.

Only two hours later, Mrs Palin held a press conference where she reportedly expressed her desire to become chairman of the NAACP.

During a rare question and answer session after the press conference, where Mrs Palin answered questions herself, one reporter asked, “How can you be a member of the NAACP when you aren’t black?”

Mrs Palin, reportedly replied, “Yes, correct, I am not a Negro, but I am a person of color. I am a member of the Ahtena, Copper River, Indian Tribe.”

Mrs Palin was, of course, referring to a 2006 ceremony where tribal leaders conferred “honorary tribe member” status on the, then, governor.

Mrs Palin went on to explain how she ‘became’ an Indian.

“This ceremony wasn’t just some ‘grip-n-grin presentation where they handed out worthless honors to everyone. This was an actual tribal ceremony where I became an Ahtena Indian. I had to endure a number of personal tests and challenges, and go through a secret ceremony.

“You think that makes me a person of color? Youbetcha!”

Ahtena officials issued a statement explaining that there is no process whereby a person can become a real Indian tribe member. They stated that Mrs Palin was ‘incorrect’ in her memory of the events.

Meanwhile, lawyers for the NAACP are busy testing Palin’s claims as a colored person.

Sam Goodwin, a contract lawyer with the NAACP New York office, stated that Palin may technically have a case.

“Indian tribes are relatively soveriegn,” Goodwin pointed out. “If they say you are a member of the tribe, you are, although I’m not sure that affects your ethnicity.”

Outrage formed within the ranks of the NAACP where Palin’s claims were dismissed as “hog wash.”

“That white cow needs to know her place. She’s cried ‘wolf’ once too often,” said an outraged social worker in Baltimore. “I think if she wants to quit something, she should quit bothering the American People.”

Mrs Palin also stated that she wanted a plaque installed in the Alaskan Governor’s Mansion honoring her as Alaska’s first “Native” chief executive.

Think we’ll be hearing more about this?

Youbetcha, Kimosabe…..

Author: Reverend Mike

@rev_rend Reverend Mike is a contributing editor for Glossy News. He was a Combat Chaplain with the Soviet Red Army in the 1980s. A career which he describes as an 'unappreciated field of endeavor'. He later worked as an Information Officer with the TASS News Agency on assignment in White Sands, NM. The collapse of the Soviet Union left him unemployed and homeless. He survived by selling magazine subscriptions door to door disguised as a college coed. He was later kidnapped and taken to Shanghai where he was sold into a white slavery ring. He lived as a concubine for a Japanese music industry mogul until 2002 when a wardrobe malfunction revealed his true identity. He found himself homeless and unemployed again, with only his collection of Polaroid snap shots. Reverend Mike has since scraped together a meagre living by blackmailing Japanese industrialists. Reverend Mike lives in a small 5 bedroom penthouse flat overlooking Central Park in New York City. His hobbies include exotic motorcycles, supermodels and owning small nations....