GALE CRATER, MARS – The Curiosity Rover died yesterday while chasing an unidentified particle on Mars, the National Aeronautic and Space Agency reported at a press conference this morning.
Physicists have not yet classified the particle that killed Curiosity, but three photos NASA received shortly before her death may hold clues.
“According to our one-megapixel photos, Curiosity was last seen chasing a particle that appeared to be slightly smaller than a boson and somewhat structured like a buckminsterfullerene,” said Lead Nuclear Physicist David Horton. “Frankly, we believe she tripped and fell off Mars.”
Miss Rover gained international fame earlier this month after reaching speeds of more than 10,000 miles (16,093.44 km) per hour and successfully landing in the Yellowknife area of Aeolis Palus, in the Greater Gale Crater area of Mars.
“This really sucks,” said NASA Intern Kevin Riley. “There were only, like, three single girls at NASA, and now there are only two.”
Memorial services will be held Friday at NASA’s headquarters in Washington, D.C.