Washington, DC- Glossy News – (House of Representatives-Capitol Hill) Congressmen Henry Waxman (D-CA) never guessed he would be in the news for something un-related to politics, but stranger things have happened to people as strange looking as the Democratic Representative from California’s 30th District.
Rep. Henry Waxman is noted for the largest set of nostrils ever seen on a human being. Some have claimed to be able to see clear through the Congressman’s head and can read a newspaper held by the people sitting behind him! Others have simply claimed they’ve seen everything from a nElvis in hiding, aliens and their UFO, and a colony of rare fruit bats living inside the man’s enormous nostrils.
One constituent claims she fears for her life every time Waxman shows up at her office! “I’m just waiting for that double-barreled cannon of his to sneeze. Who knows what might come out. I culd be killed!”
The Smithsonian Institute in Washington sent a spelunking team to visit Waxman in order to map his nostrils as part of the Federal funded mapping program to properly record and add GPS references to the least visited areas in the US.
On the second visit, a recovery team located what might be a skeleton of an extinct adult Mastodon, the name given for a number of prehistoric mammals of the extinct genus Mammut, from which modern elephants are believed to have developed. The earliest known forms lived in the Oligocene epoch in Africa. A government paleontologist was called in to verify the remains. It is feared that the adult Mastodon crawled into Waxman’s warm nose to escape the deadly cold of the last ice age.
To accommodate the rare find and garner more public support for expeditions like this one, the Smithsonian has readied an exhibit room entitled, Stuff From Famous People’s Noses. The oddly decorated room will open to the public in June.
More news at 11!
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