New Study Proves Americans are Highly Pissed Off

A British team of doctors recently developed a color wheel that they say can be used to determine if mood affects color choice. The wheel, known as the “Manchester Color Wheel” (they obviously were spent after the research and could only muster a rather generic name for their invention), is comprised of a spectrum of colors on a wheel, and subjects were asked to point to the color that best described their mood. The study group consisted of 300 healthy subjects and around 220 subjects suffering from some type of anxiety or depression.

Three questions were asked of the subjects, i.e. (1) which color they were most drawn to; (2) what was their favorite color; and (3) if there was a particular color that described their current mood.

The results showed that while a majority of both groups chose yellow as the color they were most drawn to, most everyone also chose a shade of blue as their favorite color. But when asked what color reflected their present mood, the healthy participants chose a shade of yellow, while the depressed group chose a shade of gray.

Following on the heels of this experiment, a group of American doctors attempted to use the Manchester Color Wheel theory on a group of Americans who were neither diagnosed with depression nor normal to see what their moods were when asked 4 key questions about (1) the economy; (2) health care (3) Obama’s stimulus package; and (4) corporate bailouts and bonuses.

“Talk about opening a can of worms,” said researcher, Dennis Rorschach. “Who knew how riled up Americans were about their present situation. I mean, we had grandmothers so tense that we had to pry their fists from the special button presser thingie, because they just were outraged at how their lives had taken such a turn for the worse. We had to literally lie to them and tell them that the results would produce a system whereby they would get the benefits they had been promised if they would just turn loose of the buzzers. It was bizarre, to say the least.”

And it was the same for just about everyone across the board, from school teachers to machinists to out-of-work janitors, the results were the same. In fact, the only group that didn’t even show up on the chart because they were so far from norm were the bankers, insurance brokers and financial wizards, who, for reasons unknown, were unable to participate in the survey.

While the American “Mood-o-Meter” only showed shades of gray and red, the results were decidedly quite a bit more colorful than those attained by the British team. Find the American results below: