Maccessories Introduces the iPenis

Apple/Macintosh, long the personal computer choice of lesbians, has unveiled their long-anticipated iPenis, the USB dildo built for interactive dyke e-erotica games and programs that can only run on the power of a Mac.

The new bundled package, available in lavender, fuchsia and mandarin, offers mail-in rebates on new games like “All Bitches Cum to High Heaven” and the male targeted “Brother Bare”. Developers are touting this as the hottest, wettest thing to come back out of Steve Jobs since the 3-button joystick for the Apple II.

Forget the days of cut-rate production standards that caused your self-winding modem cable to fail after three uses, the iPenis is manufactured in the Philippines where penis quality is understood and appreciated like almost nowhere else.

For power users on the go, iPenis is compatible with all Mac notebooks. If you really need pleasure in transit, hold on to your vagina; the Port-iPenis for iPod will be released fourth quarter. This scaled back pocket pecker has many of the features praised in the iPenis without all the heft, and can even run off your iPod battery. How better to make your flight to Los Angeles zip by but by plugging yourself and your iPod into one another and blasting through the interactive PDA sensation “Cock Cousteau’s Under-C Adventures” or the Time Life Erotic series “Fact or Friction”?

Rest easy knowing that each and every unit shipped has been personally tested by the engineers at Apple-Macintosh.

Whether a casual hobbyist or true penis enthusiast, the new line of peripherals from Mac is guaranteed to tickle, tantalize and satisfy.

Author: Brian White

Brian first began peddling his humorous wares with a series of Xerox printed books in fifth grade. Since then he's published over two thousand satire and humor articles, as well as eight stage plays, a 13-episode cable sitcom and three (terrible) screenplays. He is a freelance writer by trade and an expert in the field of viral entertainment marketing. He is the author of many of the biggest hoaxes of recent years, a shameful accomplishment in which he takes exceptional pride.