Laredo, TX – Returning from a recent business conference on immigration in Mexico City, Microsoft Chairman William Gates, the world’s richest man, flew over what will become the new “RioGrande BushWall” near Laredo, Texas. Having told reporters in Mexico earlier, “I’m a big believer that freedom is a good thing,” he also noted that flexibility of movement for skilled workers in his company could be a little important.
Super-rich Microsoft Chairman Gates expressed great concern at U.S. plans to build this security fence along the border. Gates said he was amazed that tens of thousands of Mexicans sneak into the US every year “…just for a job.” He thought it was very important that people with any skills should be able to come in. “What would we do without them?” he asked quizzically.
Speaking for his company, Bill Gates then announced to the press, as they toured the Microsoft-built mock-up of the fence, that Microsoft would introduce the radically new “high-skill” e-Gates® to be built into the fence. The e-Gates® design is powered by Microsoft’s X-Box 360. He explained how the new e-Gates® would employ internet game strategies within the locking mechanism of the gate. Each person wanting to enter the US by way of “BushWall” must use his own x-Box gamer control to successfully win the 3-level prison entry game installed in the gate.
Stepping up to the gate, he deftly switched on the X-Box 360 controller and handed it to a migrant waiting in line to cross over. Within 3 minutes the gate mechanism buzzed, printed a certificate and the young man high-fived his way across the border and into his new country. Gates hired him on the spot as a games consultant.
Aspiring gamers without X-Box 360 controllers will be able to purchase one at the e-Gates® Gift Shop by the new gate installation or online at www.e-gates.com.
On winning, the new e-Gates® automatically slides open and prints a certificate proving the “high-skill” talent level of the entrant. This guarantees citizenship in more or less 5-10 years, about the same time as it routinely takes workers at the Microsoft firm to get a green card. He declined to comment on what they would be doing during the 5-10 year waiting period.
Mr. Gates touts his company’s revolutionary e-Gates® invention as not only legal, but a fun and instructive way for immigrants to get past the border guards and National Guard troops. It is also a novel method of reducing the need for these guards in the first place. They will all be able to go back to Washington, DC and resume their work as Senate and House pages, another thankless, but much-desired job that has gone begging recently.
Visiting Mexico last week, former President George W. Bush continued to speak of his support for an overhaul of immigration laws that would include a temporary guest worker program and hopes President Obama will stand behind this idea as well. He didn’t seem to have any opinion about Bill Gates’ ideas of giving more flexibility to higher-skilled foreign workers. When asked about it, he said “What’s this about a gate? Heck, I welcome any new border technology. So we are clear. Are we clear?”