Republican geneticists have succeeded in their long term project to clone George W. Bush and Dick Cheney into a composite entity to enter into the 2016 Presidential elections.
This modern Frankenstein, born in a petrie dish and reared in secret, has been specially educated and trained to be an unswerving right wing pundit.
It has been modified genetically so that it develops to physical maturity in just a few years. The creature will never reached mental maturity, but that is nothing that the Republicans are not used to.
This new Prometheus will combine qualities from both the former President and Vice President. It will have the “Hi, buddy!” pseudo friendly qualities Bush was famous for while also having the sociopathic ear biting, bull dog characteristics that made Cheney so endearing.
It will make for an entity that will be able to get its way by any means possible while still putting on a smile and seeming friendly. The clone will be able to schmoozle colleagues and political enemies alike while at the same time using back door tactics to execute its power by shady deals with nefarious characters, strong break arm tactics and out and out bullpooping people.
Other useful characteristics the Bush-Cheney union will have:
The ability to smile convincingly and wholesomely while saying the most outrageous contortions of what really is happening.
The ability to seem perfectly civil and fatherly while having people tortured in modern ways and not have an inkling of conscience about it (a DNA quality gathered from both Bush and Cheney).
The ability to smirk condescendingly while still seeming to be a nice guy.
Being able to execute numerous nefarious, underhanded clandestine international conspiracies while still seeming too dumb to do such.
The new clone will still make bumbling embarrassments in public, but will now the extra talent of being able to bite the heads off those who mock him.
Using their new monster, the Repubs hope to first conquer the Republican Convention, then the 2016 Presidential election, then the entire United States. Where it can go from there is still up to speculation. After all, Canada is only a couple hundred miles north of D.C.
In a related incident, a separate Tea Party sponsored geneticist group has produced an Ann Coulter clone with Robocop DNA as a mate for the Bush/Cheney clone. It will not only have the caustic mouth and mind of the real Ms. Coulter, but also the liberal bashing physic of the famous Detroit cop.
There are rumors that the Coulter clone will be used to send into Democratic meetings with the intent to break them up and maybe break a few bones along the way. One obvious change will be that instead of having her normal trademark long blonde tresses, the new Coulter will have a Cruella de Vil jet black beehive complete with a white skunk stripe down the middle of it. The clone will also have testicles which the real Coulter might or might not have in real life.