This Friday the 13th Predicted to be Astronomical Doozy

VATICAN CITY (GlossyNews) — Several astronomers are coming right out and telling people to be extra careful this Friday the 13th due to the fact that in addition to the 13th falling on a Friday this month, another more sinister event will be happening in the skies that night—a triple conjunction with the moon lining up with Venus, Mars and Saturn all in close proximity that night. Also known as the “smiley face” effect, the occurrence is rare but has always been associated with significant happenings in history.

Triple conjunctions have occurred on significant dates in history such as the birth of Jesus Christ and the fall of the city of Constantinople, not to mention the date that Wal-Mart opened its first store—hence the smiley face logo.

In modern times, some conspiracy theorists believe the illuminati seize the opportunity to plan devastating world events when these three planets all come within close proximity to each other and the sliver of moon.

It is because of the triple conjunction that this particular Friday the 13th is considered by some to be another doomsday date to be wary of. But that’s not all, consider this. The Perseid meteor showers are set to give an exceptional show, with the peak viewing time from the night of the 12th into the early morning hours of the 13th. That’s meteors folks. Although none have come close enough to the earth to cause any problems in the past, the fact that they are happening the same time as the triple conjunction does sound an alarm for some. If you’ve never seen the movie Armageddon, you may want to pick up a copy and watch it tonight while there’s still time to plan.

We wouldn’t suggest you go hiding under your covers just yet though. Unless you see news stories such as Sarah Palin applauding Barack Obama’s efforts in making health care affordable and available to all Americans, Rush Limbaugh admitting to his listeners that he is indeed a progressive liberal and he’s lost 50 pounds on the new Slim-Fast Diet, or Bill Clinton swearing off extra-marital affairs, you can just chalk this Friday the 13th up as another false alarm.

Author: P. Beckert

P. Beckert's is one voice vying for frequency room at the top of the opinion dial. Angered and bewildered by many of today’s events, P. Beckert uses humor as a tool to fight against an onslaught of stupidity and ignorance that seems to permeate the airwaves and pollute the sensitivities of a once brilliant nation. You can find more at ISaidLaughDammit.blogspot.com.